If you know me at all, you know how much I despise advanced math.
Honestly, I couldn’t care any less about math. I can add, subtract, multiply and divide. I can find the area of simple shapes and I use math daily in my job. I really can do it if I can remember all of the formulas and rule on when to use what. College algebra and trig scare me.
In the past 8 months I have conquered 3 huge math mountains. First, I had to re-take the ACT and I was not worried at all about the test until I remembered the math. I got a review book and I studied every minute that I could. When I got stuck, I asked for help. My friends, Jennifer and James helped me get out of that mess and I moved on. Test day came and went. I used every minute of the math section to complete it. (I am almost always a fast test taker and very rarely do I used all of the time given.) It seems liked forever before I got my results, but they were good. I got 6 points higher than needed to get into the college! My highest score was in math!
Next was a drug calculation test. I studied and completed a whole book of practice problems. I memorized conversions that no one uses anymore, like grains, and I learned how to figure out how many drops an IV drops for a given dose. I passed that test with a 97%.
Last, there was chemistry. Oh, I am so glad to be done with that class! It almost killed me. I have NEVER struggled that hard in school before in my life. I would sit in class and everything seemed to fit together and make sense. When I took the online quizzes, it was evident that I didn’t “get it” as much as I thought while still in class. My lab was fun; I enjoyed the instructor and my lab partners. The instructor was fun, outgoing, and loved to teach! My lab partners and I worked together and did fairly well. We only caught one thing on fire the whole semester and that wasn’t our fault. (An extra person joined our group for the day, he did it! I promise!) I did well in the lab because our book had each problem laid out with an example and all we had to do was plug in our numbers to get the correct answer, it the lecture quizzes that got me. I struggled for several weeks learning formulas, gas laws, and other (as I see it) useless information. I finally got to the point that I had no idea what formula to use when and I had no idea when to use grams of a substance or Moles of a substance. Needless to say, this was beginning to take at toll on my grade (a big old whopping C). I finally met with a tutor who goes to my church, Randy, and gained lots of my confidence back. As we sat and looked at the problems, I was so close and had the basic idea of solving them. It was just math that got in the way of my confidence. I told Randy that all I needed was a C in this class and that I would be perfectly happy. I was right on the line of a C and a D. I prayed and prayed and had friends pray the night of the final. I was sick to my stomach for 2 days before and I couldn’t sleep the night before. (I have NEVER been like that over a test before.) On test night, I felt anxious, but as ready as I could be. I did the questions I knew how to do first, this took about an hour and then I went back to tackle the others. After looking at a few, I sat there recognizing the questions but just not sure how to do it! I prayed and talked my self back to a calm state. After about 5 minutes of looking at one problem, it just came to me! I got it and I completed the final. I got a passing grade and completed the course with a C. I found out when I went to my car that Brandi had been raying hard for me the same time that ‘I got it.”
God is good.
Like I mentioned before, I rarely have struggled in school. I got mostly As and Bs (excluding World History- who cares?) and the thought of a C was not fun. That is when my dad told me that C=RN. That is the truth! I can do that kind of algebra!
Showing posts with label My life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label My life. Show all posts
Friday, May 18, 2007
Monday, January 29, 2007
School
Well, here we are in the third week of school. I am getting into a
routine and schedule. It is hard working full time and going to school
three days a week. Some of the people I work with don't get how much
work my classes require, they are in school one day a week! I am not
sure how my mom made it through her bachelor's degree with 3 kids,
and a fulltime job and school work. Maybe she is super woman!!
The fist three days of the week are the worst and then the rest of the
week just sails by. Monday I work from 8:15-4:45pm, rush home for an
hour to let Jackson out and eat dinner, then I head to school for a
6:30-9:30pm class. On Tuesdays I usually work from 9-5 and then head
to grab something to eat and then its off to school for a 6:30-9:30
class. Then on Wednesdays I am at work from 9-5, I come home for a
little while and then I have home team. Last week by about 8:30pm at
home team, I was so tired I could hardly stay awake. I was asleep by
10:30pm. Thursdays are better with a lab at 10am and
work from 1-9. I feel like I am never at home! My time at home, alone,
is the time I get rest and energy to carry on throughout the week, so I
have been feeling a bit tired and ready to sleep when the time comes!
My classes are good and I am enjoying them. I am still studying like
crazy for my Drug Calculation test at the end of February. I will be
glad when that is over! I am calculating IV drip flow rates in my sleep.
I am not kidding! I think about the formulas all of the time, I guess that is a
good thing since I need to know them for the test.
routine and schedule. It is hard working full time and going to school
three days a week. Some of the people I work with don't get how much
work my classes require, they are in school one day a week! I am not
sure how my mom made it through her bachelor's degree with 3 kids,
and a fulltime job and school work. Maybe she is super woman!!
The fist three days of the week are the worst and then the rest of the
week just sails by. Monday I work from 8:15-4:45pm, rush home for an
hour to let Jackson out and eat dinner, then I head to school for a
6:30-9:30pm class. On Tuesdays I usually work from 9-5 and then head
to grab something to eat and then its off to school for a 6:30-9:30
class. Then on Wednesdays I am at work from 9-5, I come home for a
little while and then I have home team. Last week by about 8:30pm at
home team, I was so tired I could hardly stay awake. I was asleep by
10:30pm. Thursdays are better with a lab at 10am and
work from 1-9. I feel like I am never at home! My time at home, alone,
is the time I get rest and energy to carry on throughout the week, so I
have been feeling a bit tired and ready to sleep when the time comes!
My classes are good and I am enjoying them. I am still studying like
crazy for my Drug Calculation test at the end of February. I will be
glad when that is over! I am calculating IV drip flow rates in my sleep.
I am not kidding! I think about the formulas all of the time, I guess that is a
good thing since I need to know them for the test.
Monday, December 18, 2006
Teh
Why is it that every time I go to tpye the world THE my fingers type the H and the E in teh (example #1) wrong order! Augh. This drives me crazy, everytime I run the spell checker I end up with every THE spelled wrong! And I have noticed taht (SEE?) the problem is spreading to other words such as: then (tehn), them (tehm), these (tehse), and, (I am sure it is not the last "th" word that I will mess up), that (taht)!
I don't understand what is wrong woth my brain or my fingers. Could it possible be my key board just picking up the letters in the wrong order? I mean I am an intelligent woman who has been typing for years. I type daily and fairl well. What is teh (AUGH) deal? I wish it was so easy to blame the keyboard, but it happens at work, at home, and pretty much everywhere I type!
One more thing about the word "teh." IT is NOT "tea" I never write that word, but blogger and Thunderfox seem to think it is the word I menat to type.
Ok Done!
I don't understand what is wrong woth my brain or my fingers. Could it possible be my key board just picking up the letters in the wrong order? I mean I am an intelligent woman who has been typing for years. I type daily and fairl well. What is teh (AUGH) deal? I wish it was so easy to blame the keyboard, but it happens at work, at home, and pretty much everywhere I type!
One more thing about the word "teh." IT is NOT "tea" I never write that word, but blogger and Thunderfox seem to think it is the word I menat to type.
Ok Done!
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Just Kidding!
OK, so I was kidding in my last blog post that it wouldn't be a month. Oh well, life happens and I have been a busy person.
A quick update:
I finally got my ACT scores! I got a 26! I needed a 20 to be accepted to the program, now I just need to get a 90% or higher on the dosage calculation test. That test will not be until February 23rd. I have plenty of time to study! I am doing well so far, and the is math that actually makes sense to me.
My mom got a new job!It is such a blessing! She will is working as a clinical nurse educator at St Luke's Hospital. This is a great job for her as it allows her to use her 30+ years of experience in the nursing field to teach other nurses. It is much better than a staff nurse job for her. And they will be paying her what a nurse with her experience is worth.
My grandma is here from Chicago. She has been here since Thanksgiving and see will be here until just before Christmas. She has really gotten a lot worse mentally since her last visit. She can't remember much and has a hard time having a conversation. Some of this could be related to her hearing problem but she refuses to get hearing aides. She also has a cataract that is limiting her vision. She sleeps most of the time, we are not sure what this is about. We think it is because her medication is not regulated. She has been mental ill, for about her whole life and sleeping is a way the she copes when her medications are not working. Of course she told the doctor that she cannot sleep at night (she sleeps all day, does it surprise anyone that she can't sleep at night too?) and he prescribed a sleeping pill. That just makes it worse. It has been pretty easy having her here, she just has to have the TV on constantly- on QVC of all things!
I am doing well. Preparing to go back to school is both exciting ad scary at the same time. I will be taking Chemistry and Anatomy and Physiology I in the spring and Microbiology and A & P II in the summer. It will sure be busy, but God is good and I am ready for what he has for me in all of this!
A quick update:
I finally got my ACT scores! I got a 26! I needed a 20 to be accepted to the program, now I just need to get a 90% or higher on the dosage calculation test. That test will not be until February 23rd. I have plenty of time to study! I am doing well so far, and the is math that actually makes sense to me.
My mom got a new job!It is such a blessing! She will is working as a clinical nurse educator at St Luke's Hospital. This is a great job for her as it allows her to use her 30+ years of experience in the nursing field to teach other nurses. It is much better than a staff nurse job for her. And they will be paying her what a nurse with her experience is worth.
My grandma is here from Chicago. She has been here since Thanksgiving and see will be here until just before Christmas. She has really gotten a lot worse mentally since her last visit. She can't remember much and has a hard time having a conversation. Some of this could be related to her hearing problem but she refuses to get hearing aides. She also has a cataract that is limiting her vision. She sleeps most of the time, we are not sure what this is about. We think it is because her medication is not regulated. She has been mental ill, for about her whole life and sleeping is a way the she copes when her medications are not working. Of course she told the doctor that she cannot sleep at night (she sleeps all day, does it surprise anyone that she can't sleep at night too?) and he prescribed a sleeping pill. That just makes it worse. It has been pretty easy having her here, she just has to have the TV on constantly- on QVC of all things!
I am doing well. Preparing to go back to school is both exciting ad scary at the same time. I will be taking Chemistry and Anatomy and Physiology I in the spring and Microbiology and A & P II in the summer. It will sure be busy, but God is good and I am ready for what he has for me in all of this!
Monday, October 30, 2006
Busy
In response to Amy's post about how people don't update their blogs enough....
I have been busy! I have decided to go back to school. I am officially enrolled in classes for January!
I am trying to get into the Nursing program for the Fall of 07. There are only 80 spots available and about 300 people who want them. I have successfully jumped through all but one of the hoops that they require! I have collected all of my transcripts, gathered my immunization records, taken the ACT (it has to be a score within 5 years, I took it the first time 10 years ago! OUCH), and registered for the dosage calculations class. I have to one of the first 80 people to pass that test to get into the program for the fall of 07. My test date is toward the end of the line, but I know that God has that under controls!
I will update in more details soon.... I promise it won't be a month! No more ACT prep = more time to update the blog!
For some good reading while you wait, check this out!
I have been busy! I have decided to go back to school. I am officially enrolled in classes for January!
I am trying to get into the Nursing program for the Fall of 07. There are only 80 spots available and about 300 people who want them. I have successfully jumped through all but one of the hoops that they require! I have collected all of my transcripts, gathered my immunization records, taken the ACT (it has to be a score within 5 years, I took it the first time 10 years ago! OUCH), and registered for the dosage calculations class. I have to one of the first 80 people to pass that test to get into the program for the fall of 07. My test date is toward the end of the line, but I know that God has that under controls!
I will update in more details soon.... I promise it won't be a month! No more ACT prep = more time to update the blog!
For some good reading while you wait, check this out!
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Hannibal Family Retreat
I am in Hannibal. MO this weekend on a Family Retreat Weekend with an organization called HIS KIDS. It is an organization that serves children with cancer and their families.
More later, but for now some fun pictures!
More later, but for now some fun pictures!
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Happy Birthday Xander!
Today we welcomed another precious child into our world. Xander was born at 10 am. He weighs 7 lbs 11 oz, the same as his mama and his big sister! He is 20 inches long. He is perfect!
Please pray for quick recovery for Brandi after her C-section today and a good night's rest for all.
Here are the first pictures I have. More to come soon!
Brighton talking with the nurse about when Xander would be getting his first bath. She was very excited to talk to the nurse about her baby brother. She is so grown up!
Through the glass.
Sleeping away while being passed around to his family in waiting!
Look at this hair, not as much as Brighton had, but its very dark.
Little feet!
More sleeping!
Look, that's me and Xander!
Ana is a BIG sister! She just kept saying "baby, baby, baby" she also said " I love baby!" I wasn't around for Brighton's first look at Xander, but I am sure she looked just as proud! I will post some of those when I get them.
Stretching out after nine months of confined space.
Please pray for quick recovery for Brandi after her C-section today and a good night's rest for all.
Here are the first pictures I have. More to come soon!
Brighton talking with the nurse about when Xander would be getting his first bath. She was very excited to talk to the nurse about her baby brother. She is so grown up!
Through the glass.
Sleeping away while being passed around to his family in waiting!
Look at this hair, not as much as Brighton had, but its very dark.
Little feet!
More sleeping!
Look, that's me and Xander!
Ana is a BIG sister! She just kept saying "baby, baby, baby" she also said " I love baby!" I wasn't around for Brighton's first look at Xander, but I am sure she looked just as proud! I will post some of those when I get them.
Stretching out after nine months of confined space.
Busy Busy
Even though it is probably hard to tell by my posts here on my blog, I really want to blog, I have been busy and after being on the computer at work the last thing I want to do when I get home is be on the computer more.
I have had a full couple of weeks and the "busy" season has just begun.
Here are some pictures from my recent trip to the St Louis Zoo. I went with my mom, Kiana and Brighton. We had a great day, the weather was AWESOME and the girls loved it! I am now officially a Zoo Friend, so you will probably be hearing a lot about the zoo this fall.
Kane feeding the ducks and geese. We later found out that this was not allowed at the Zoo.
Kiana and Brighton on a seal sculpture at the Zoo entrance. Kiana just will not smile at a camera for me! I am sure that the bright son didn't help!
Birghton at the hippo exhibit! This happens to be one of my favorite places in the zoo. I love being able to get so close to them and watching them up close!
This polar bear was great. He was swimming around and playing for quite a while.
He reminded me of Jackson at the dog swim at out local pool.
I have had a full couple of weeks and the "busy" season has just begun.
Here are some pictures from my recent trip to the St Louis Zoo. I went with my mom, Kiana and Brighton. We had a great day, the weather was AWESOME and the girls loved it! I am now officially a Zoo Friend, so you will probably be hearing a lot about the zoo this fall.
Kane feeding the ducks and geese. We later found out that this was not allowed at the Zoo.
Kiana and Brighton on a seal sculpture at the Zoo entrance. Kiana just will not smile at a camera for me! I am sure that the bright son didn't help!
Birghton at the hippo exhibit! This happens to be one of my favorite places in the zoo. I love being able to get so close to them and watching them up close!
This polar bear was great. He was swimming around and playing for quite a while.He reminded me of Jackson at the dog swim at out local pool.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Amazing!
This is a long story! My best friend is pregnant and her baby is due in September. She is having a scheduled C-section, which is a good thing for her, but kind of sad for me because I thought she was my last hope to see a baby being born. (in real life, not on TV). Well one day, I was talking about it with a group of people from church and one of them was also pregnant. She said that this was her third baby and she was OK if I wanted to come and watch her baby's birth. YEAH! So for the past few weeks we have all been waiting, day after day, for Jacob Ellis to make his way into our world.
On Monday morning at 5 am I made my way to the hospital and starting around 10am I got to see the most amazing thing I have EVER seen! Jacob was born around 10:10am. I have thought about this over and over since Monday and it is still amazing to me. It was such a cool experience and a reminder that God has perfectly designed our bodies. God used Jacob's birth to remind me of His perfection and His works.
Thank you James and Jennifer for allowing me to witness the birth of your beautiful little boy!
It was a wonderful gift!
On Monday morning at 5 am I made my way to the hospital and starting around 10am I got to see the most amazing thing I have EVER seen! Jacob was born around 10:10am. I have thought about this over and over since Monday and it is still amazing to me. It was such a cool experience and a reminder that God has perfectly designed our bodies. God used Jacob's birth to remind me of His perfection and His works.
Thank you James and Jennifer for allowing me to witness the birth of your beautiful little boy!
It was a wonderful gift!
Jacob Ellis
August 28, 2006
10:10am
Weighing in at an incredible 9 pounds and 9 ounces!
He looks tiny in the first two pictures,
but check out how big he is compared to his momma!
August 28, 2006
10:10am
Weighing in at an incredible 9 pounds and 9 ounces!
He looks tiny in the first two pictures,
but check out how big he is compared to his momma!
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Vacation Photos
Click on this picture to see the rest of the "not stuck in traffic" photos.
In case anyone is keeping track, we traveled 5 miles or less in 2.5 hours at 12:30am on the way to MI. IDOT (Illinois department of transportation) really needs to consult a different Civil Engineering Firm next time!
In case anyone is keeping track, we traveled 5 miles or less in 2.5 hours at 12:30am on the way to MI. IDOT (Illinois department of transportation) really needs to consult a different Civil Engineering Firm next time!
Monday, June 26, 2006
You shouldn't be reading this here,
but you are.
I will not go into many details now (or maybe ever here on the blog), but I feel like life is a mess. Not mine, but ours. I cannot sleep, all I can do is think and pray. I wish I could turn my brain off, or at least the though process center of my brain.
Maybe he was right, if I could just go to sleep for a while and wake up, it would all be a dream and all would be fine.
I cannot help but think that this should be happening to another church somewhere else, far, far away. Why would I wish such confusion, fear, anger, hurt, and sadness on other Believers? Doesn't seem very nice, but I guess we think about these kinds of things when we just wish it wasn't us.
It would be nice if it was someone else far, far away... but we all know that it is not. It is us. And we must deal with this. We must move on. We must move forward.
God has ordained this for us now, He has promised to complete the good work in us. Now is the time.
I will not go into many details now (or maybe ever here on the blog), but I feel like life is a mess. Not mine, but ours. I cannot sleep, all I can do is think and pray. I wish I could turn my brain off, or at least the though process center of my brain.
Maybe he was right, if I could just go to sleep for a while and wake up, it would all be a dream and all would be fine.
I cannot help but think that this should be happening to another church somewhere else, far, far away. Why would I wish such confusion, fear, anger, hurt, and sadness on other Believers? Doesn't seem very nice, but I guess we think about these kinds of things when we just wish it wasn't us.
It would be nice if it was someone else far, far away... but we all know that it is not. It is us. And we must deal with this. We must move on. We must move forward.
God has ordained this for us now, He has promised to complete the good work in us. Now is the time.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
A fast recap
The past many weeks have been a crazy whirlwind.
These are the things I have done or experienced since I posted a real post... Ok lets go with things since Christmas. I will try at least.
3. My best friends got a baby, Kiana, back into their home for adoption!
4. Found out that Brandi and Tom are not only adopting, but they are having a baby too! Baby is due in October!
5. I have had million viruses in my body. I have been sick at least 3 times since Christmas, currently fighting ANOTHER cold!
6. Made it through Dec-March. This was the time of year David was so sick last year. We spent almost all of January in the hospital last year. It was difficult to make it through these few months.
7. Experienced a bad depression that has lasted the better part of the winter. I am starting to feel good most days now!
8. I am currently teaching the 3-5 year olds at church. This is both fun and extremely tiring. I love seeing them "get it" and learn about how BIG our GOD is. This week was great- I asked why God healed the Israelites after they were being punished for the disobedience of Moses and one of them shouted EXACTLY what I was looking for, "Because God is loving and forgiving." YEAH EVAN! Moments like that make me see how important of a calling form God this is.
9. I just started working full time at my job that I have had for a year. Its great! I love working there and switching to full time has not been a huge change in hours. The benefits are amazing!
10. We (my mom and I) are currently having some financial issues that are not good. We are trying to decided if we need to move or stay here. Right now as of this post, looks like all votes are in for staying here. I hope we don't have to move, it would save a lot of work and even more money.
11. My baby brother, Tommy, turned 6 this year. He came and stayed the weekend with me and we had a blast. We went swimming at my work, played with Jackson, and went to church. I cannot wait until he comes again soon!
12. Brighton also turned six. She had a puppy party and it was so cute and VERY creative.
13. I have been struggling with reading the Word for many months. I have been trying to read something every few days, I am getting better now. I miss good time in the Word. I am also going to get back to memorizing our verses each week. Hiding God's word is so important to me, I am not sure what happened.
14. The stress level in our home is at the absolute max that it has been in a LONG time. I just pray that this season passes quickly.
15. I played in the snow with my dog!
16. My dad is in the hospital today, he is having heart problems, a heart attack. He is having a cardiac cath in the morning. I will be traveling to the University in Columbia in the morning.
16. I wrote my first real blog post in a LONG LONG time.
Good night!s
These are the things I have done or experienced since I posted a real post... Ok lets go with things since Christmas. I will try at least.
1. I survived (along with my mom) our first holiday season without David.
2. Turned 27, AHHHHH.
3. My best friends got a baby, Kiana, back into their home for adoption!
4. Found out that Brandi and Tom are not only adopting, but they are having a baby too! Baby is due in October!5. I have had million viruses in my body. I have been sick at least 3 times since Christmas, currently fighting ANOTHER cold!
6. Made it through Dec-March. This was the time of year David was so sick last year. We spent almost all of January in the hospital last year. It was difficult to make it through these few months.
7. Experienced a bad depression that has lasted the better part of the winter. I am starting to feel good most days now!
8. I am currently teaching the 3-5 year olds at church. This is both fun and extremely tiring. I love seeing them "get it" and learn about how BIG our GOD is. This week was great- I asked why God healed the Israelites after they were being punished for the disobedience of Moses and one of them shouted EXACTLY what I was looking for, "Because God is loving and forgiving." YEAH EVAN! Moments like that make me see how important of a calling form God this is.
9. I just started working full time at my job that I have had for a year. Its great! I love working there and switching to full time has not been a huge change in hours. The benefits are amazing!
10. We (my mom and I) are currently having some financial issues that are not good. We are trying to decided if we need to move or stay here. Right now as of this post, looks like all votes are in for staying here. I hope we don't have to move, it would save a lot of work and even more money.
11. My baby brother, Tommy, turned 6 this year. He came and stayed the weekend with me and we had a blast. We went swimming at my work, played with Jackson, and went to church. I cannot wait until he comes again soon!
12. Brighton also turned six. She had a puppy party and it was so cute and VERY creative.
13. I have been struggling with reading the Word for many months. I have been trying to read something every few days, I am getting better now. I miss good time in the Word. I am also going to get back to memorizing our verses each week. Hiding God's word is so important to me, I am not sure what happened.
14. The stress level in our home is at the absolute max that it has been in a LONG time. I just pray that this season passes quickly.
15. I played in the snow with my dog!
16. My dad is in the hospital today, he is having heart problems, a heart attack. He is having a cardiac cath in the morning. I will be traveling to the University in Columbia in the morning.
16. I wrote my first real blog post in a LONG LONG time.
Good night!s
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Going out of town...
I am heading out of town this morning to go to Niki and Josh's wedding. Looking forward to all of the excitement that a wedding brings! I am NOT looking forward to spending some 12 plus hours in the car today with Brighton and Kiana. On our last trip to Nashville a few weekends back, Brighton started asking "How much longer about 15 minutes into the drive!" Kiana spent most of this trip asleep, there and home. What a cool baby she is! Hopefully with one extra adult along this time to tag team the kids time will fly!
Please be praying for a safe and FUN trip.
Please be praying for a safe and FUN trip.
Friday, October 07, 2005
Brighton and Alicia Sleepover
On Friday September 30-Saturday October 1, Brighton had a sleepover at
my house! It was awesome. Not something I would want to do every
Friday, but it was a lot of fun.
On Friday night we went to The Painted Zebra, a cool place to go and
paint ceramics. After you paint a piece, they glaze and fire it and
then you go back in a few days and pick it up! Its magic, Ok, not
really but it is pretty neat!
After we painted and hung out at the PZ for several hours, we were both
ready for bed, at 9pm! So we headed to my house and straight to bed.
Brighton had no problem falling alseep or staying asleep, but I did.
Pixie (Brighton's dog) had some trouble sleeping and kept waking me up.
Her tags were jingling and she was wondering around my bedroom. I
finally got out of bed, let her out to potty, and then sent her in the
puppy kennel for the rest of the night. That seemed to work.
Morning came to soon and a full morning started at sunrise.
my house! It was awesome. Not something I would want to do every
Friday, but it was a lot of fun.
On Friday night we went to The Painted Zebra, a cool place to go and
paint ceramics. After you paint a piece, they glaze and fire it and
then you go back in a few days and pick it up! Its magic, Ok, not
really but it is pretty neat!
After we painted and hung out at the PZ for several hours, we were both
ready for bed, at 9pm! So we headed to my house and straight to bed.
Brighton had no problem falling alseep or staying asleep, but I did.
Pixie (Brighton's dog) had some trouble sleeping and kept waking me up.
Her tags were jingling and she was wondering around my bedroom. I
finally got out of bed, let her out to potty, and then sent her in the
puppy kennel for the rest of the night. That seemed to work.
Morning came to soon and a full morning started at sunrise.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
My Only Hope
I love our deck. I love the view. I love watching the birds play along the back tree line. I love listen to the sound of bugs and birds in the tress that surround our house. I love the breeze that comes over the open field and to our yard. I love watching the baby cows play in the field and the momma cows move VERY slowly. I love catching a glimpse of a family of deer as the sneak around the family of cows in the field. I love sitting out here and just being still. I love that my loyal bird dog just lays here beside me because he wants to be close to me. I love sitting out here and just being still. It has been a good afternoon. The weather is perfect.
Being still is not something I do well. I don't think many of us can say that being still is easy to do. Today was one of those far and few between moments when I was still. I thought about what has been going on in my life in this past year and the changes that God has made in my life and in my heart. I feel like I have had all kinds of changes in my life from a new house to the death of my brother, David. There have been good changes, bad changes, easy changes and hard changes.
In all of this I recognize that God is sovereign and His plan for my life is perfect. Jesus is it, nothing else can be trusted.
Psalm 20:7 Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.
Being still is not something I do well. I don't think many of us can say that being still is easy to do. Today was one of those far and few between moments when I was still. I thought about what has been going on in my life in this past year and the changes that God has made in my life and in my heart. I feel like I have had all kinds of changes in my life from a new house to the death of my brother, David. There have been good changes, bad changes, easy changes and hard changes.
In all of this I recognize that God is sovereign and His plan for my life is perfect. Jesus is it, nothing else can be trusted.
Psalm 20:7 Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
What am I
I have been getting up VERY early in the morning. Today I was awake at 5:17 am!
This was the first morning that Jackson, my dog, woke up with me and wanted to go out and play. I think his sleep schedule is adjusting. In the past when I got up before 9am for what ever reason, he wouldn't get out of his kennel. It was pretty funny. Today he was WIDE awake and wanting to play all kinds of dog games.
On my way into work this morning, I was listening to Shawn McDonald's song Beautiful. It was a little before 6am, and the sun was just on it's way up. The sky was magnificent. The sun was so huge and bright orange. It was a truely a gift from God and I am so thankful. I love the way God gives us so much that we miss and take for granted.
Enjoy the words...
Lyrics
Beautiful
Written by Shawn McDonald
As I look into the stars
Pondering how far away they are
How You hold them in Your hands
And still You know this man
You know my inner most being, oh
Even better than I know, than I know myself
What a beautiful God
What a beautiful God
And what am I, that I might be called Your child
What am I, what am I
That You might know me, my King
What am I, what am I, what am I
As I look off into the distance
Watching the sun roll on by
Beautiful colors all around me, oh
Painted all over the sky
The same hands that created all of this
They created you and I
What a beautiful God
What a beautiful God
And what am I, that I might be called Your child
What am I, what am I
That You might know me, my King
What am I, what am I
That You might die, that I might live
What am I, what am I, what am I, what am I
What am I
What am I
What am I
What am I
What am I
This was the first morning that Jackson, my dog, woke up with me and wanted to go out and play. I think his sleep schedule is adjusting. In the past when I got up before 9am for what ever reason, he wouldn't get out of his kennel. It was pretty funny. Today he was WIDE awake and wanting to play all kinds of dog games.
On my way into work this morning, I was listening to Shawn McDonald's song Beautiful. It was a little before 6am, and the sun was just on it's way up. The sky was magnificent. The sun was so huge and bright orange. It was a truely a gift from God and I am so thankful. I love the way God gives us so much that we miss and take for granted.
Enjoy the words...
Lyrics
Beautiful
Written by Shawn McDonald
As I look into the stars
Pondering how far away they are
How You hold them in Your hands
And still You know this man
You know my inner most being, oh
Even better than I know, than I know myself
What a beautiful God
What a beautiful God
And what am I, that I might be called Your child
What am I, what am I
That You might know me, my King
What am I, what am I, what am I
As I look off into the distance
Watching the sun roll on by
Beautiful colors all around me, oh
Painted all over the sky
The same hands that created all of this
They created you and I
What a beautiful God
What a beautiful God
And what am I, that I might be called Your child
What am I, what am I
That You might know me, my King
What am I, what am I
That You might die, that I might live
What am I, what am I, what am I, what am I
What am I
What am I
What am I
What am I
What am I
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Vacation
Its coming!
I am so excited about what is going on in my life right now that I cannot sleep. All I can do is think...
What am I thinking about you ask yourself? Well, worry no more... I am about to tell you!
Last weekend was one of the most emotional weekends I have had in a good while, yet I still cannot put my finger on the real problem. Of course I have a few ideas, but then I start getting frustrated with myself that those things affected me so much that I cried for hours. Now a week later I can see that the events last weekend were a big deal, and even admitting that is BIG for me. It feels like I am vulnerable to the actions of others way more than I want to be. I am trying to keep my emotions in check this week, I am not one to be emotional and dramatic about things. Some days I get frustrated that things aren't more easily managed by me. I am coming to the conclusion that emotions are OK, God created them. I am just praying that God will allow me to handle them in ways that will glorify Him not me.
I am thinking about the goodness and glory of God a lot these days. His sovereignty and perfection is always on my mind. I cannot grasp these concepts, it just blows my tiny finite mind! I get to thinking about it and my mind starts to run a million miles an hour. For a good book to read that will totally jump start this process for you read Sam Storms book, One Thing.
I think about God's purpose for suffering and what God has been trying to teach me through what seems like the most pointless suffering I will ever know, being the surviving sibling of a chronically ill child. I think about David's suffering in life and in his death a lot recently and it is weighing heavy on my heart. I want to rush through this first year without him as fast as possible to avoid things like his birthday, father's day and other holidays. As I struggle through this I have seen God's goodness time and time again. Still I sit and wonder what God is doing. What were the lessons God? Did I learn them well or are there more to come?
My first mission trip is coming up in a little less than a month. I cannot believe how God has changed my heart about this trip from this time last year. God is good. I am so excited about this trip that it is an all consuming thought!
I am excited about what God is doing in relationships in my life. He is bring new relationships together, rebuilding relationships that I have failed to nurture, and He is changing current friendships. My friendships with people are growing deeper and stronger than I would have ever expected. I am having conversations with people that last for hours at a time...all about Christ. I am blessed to have met many new friends that are so different from me, yet we share of love of Christ. This has been a blessing beyond measure.
As I have said a few times...many of these things are constantly on my mind. How do I reconcile them with God? WOW! These are big thoughts for someone whose mind is so small.
So all that said... my vacation is coming up... I am planning on spending quite a bit of time alone on the beach or in the cottage seeking God's will. Seeking God's plan for my life. Seeking God's desires for what I am to do with these thoughts... Seeking the Holy presence of a God who never leaves me...Funny I think I have to go 500 miles from home for that!
I am so excited about what is going on in my life right now that I cannot sleep. All I can do is think...
What am I thinking about you ask yourself? Well, worry no more... I am about to tell you!
Last weekend was one of the most emotional weekends I have had in a good while, yet I still cannot put my finger on the real problem. Of course I have a few ideas, but then I start getting frustrated with myself that those things affected me so much that I cried for hours. Now a week later I can see that the events last weekend were a big deal, and even admitting that is BIG for me. It feels like I am vulnerable to the actions of others way more than I want to be. I am trying to keep my emotions in check this week, I am not one to be emotional and dramatic about things. Some days I get frustrated that things aren't more easily managed by me. I am coming to the conclusion that emotions are OK, God created them. I am just praying that God will allow me to handle them in ways that will glorify Him not me.
I am thinking about the goodness and glory of God a lot these days. His sovereignty and perfection is always on my mind. I cannot grasp these concepts, it just blows my tiny finite mind! I get to thinking about it and my mind starts to run a million miles an hour. For a good book to read that will totally jump start this process for you read Sam Storms book, One Thing.
I think about God's purpose for suffering and what God has been trying to teach me through what seems like the most pointless suffering I will ever know, being the surviving sibling of a chronically ill child. I think about David's suffering in life and in his death a lot recently and it is weighing heavy on my heart. I want to rush through this first year without him as fast as possible to avoid things like his birthday, father's day and other holidays. As I struggle through this I have seen God's goodness time and time again. Still I sit and wonder what God is doing. What were the lessons God? Did I learn them well or are there more to come?
My first mission trip is coming up in a little less than a month. I cannot believe how God has changed my heart about this trip from this time last year. God is good. I am so excited about this trip that it is an all consuming thought!
I am excited about what God is doing in relationships in my life. He is bring new relationships together, rebuilding relationships that I have failed to nurture, and He is changing current friendships. My friendships with people are growing deeper and stronger than I would have ever expected. I am having conversations with people that last for hours at a time...all about Christ. I am blessed to have met many new friends that are so different from me, yet we share of love of Christ. This has been a blessing beyond measure.
As I have said a few times...many of these things are constantly on my mind. How do I reconcile them with God? WOW! These are big thoughts for someone whose mind is so small.
So all that said... my vacation is coming up... I am planning on spending quite a bit of time alone on the beach or in the cottage seeking God's will. Seeking God's plan for my life. Seeking God's desires for what I am to do with these thoughts... Seeking the Holy presence of a God who never leaves me...Funny I think I have to go 500 miles from home for that!
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
WOW...
I am not sure what happened to my love of blogging... I am hoping it comes back becasue I really do enjoy it.
Let's see... where to start... The past few weeks have been full of awesome, God sized things in my life.
1. My friend, Tony, challeneged me to share the Gospel with one person each day. Immediatly I came up with several excuses... evangalisim is not my gift, I don't like talking to strangers, I don't know enough to have a stand with unbelievers, I get nervous, and many others. I was then lovingly reminded about the commandment that Jesus gives at the end of the Gospels. (Matthew 28:16-20, Mark 16:14-20) Immediatley I was convicted and God has been growing me each day. I have to say that this is a slow and steady process of learning to fear God and not man. I have been able to share the gospel with a friend of mine and just bust it to her the way that I have been learing in "The Way of the Master." If you think of it, pray that the Holy Spirit continues to work and soften her heart.
2. I am preparing to go to Matamoros in a few weeks on my first mission trip. If you go to the link you can see that God is at work in Mexico and I am excited to be a part of what God is doing there! Its on my mind all of the time, its consuming my thoughts day and night right now... God is difentaly preparing me for cool stuff there! I am looking forward to seing the Holy Spirit work in a group of people who have little in common except Christ.
3. Work is good, I love my job and the people I work with are a lot of fun! Of course like any job, its not all fun and games. I am preparing to be gone from there for about 3 weeks. I am glad to be getting away for a while, but the paychecks are going to suffer!
4. I have been enjoying the freedom I am feeling in Christ. When I slow down and just think about the past several months of life, I can see how God has changed me. Last week I had a cool week of hanging out with a group of people who are amazing friends. All of us single adults with all kinds of bagage, yet we all love Christ and becasue of that fellowship with them is sweet and fun. I also was able to serve God by helping a lady from church move. Several of us gathered to support our sister in Christ, it was hard work...but again the fun and fellowship was very cool. Those of you who know me won't believe this...It is a new thing for me to be completely comfortable aroud a group of people I hardly know, I am excited to see how God is using this in my life. I am forming friendships with people based on Christ alone.
It seems close to forever that I have thought about blogging daily things that happen to me. I decided last night that it was time to start again. It helps me keep tabs on my life.
Let's see... where to start... The past few weeks have been full of awesome, God sized things in my life.
1. My friend, Tony, challeneged me to share the Gospel with one person each day. Immediatly I came up with several excuses... evangalisim is not my gift, I don't like talking to strangers, I don't know enough to have a stand with unbelievers, I get nervous, and many others. I was then lovingly reminded about the commandment that Jesus gives at the end of the Gospels. (Matthew 28:16-20, Mark 16:14-20) Immediatley I was convicted and God has been growing me each day. I have to say that this is a slow and steady process of learning to fear God and not man. I have been able to share the gospel with a friend of mine and just bust it to her the way that I have been learing in "The Way of the Master." If you think of it, pray that the Holy Spirit continues to work and soften her heart.
2. I am preparing to go to Matamoros in a few weeks on my first mission trip. If you go to the link you can see that God is at work in Mexico and I am excited to be a part of what God is doing there! Its on my mind all of the time, its consuming my thoughts day and night right now... God is difentaly preparing me for cool stuff there! I am looking forward to seing the Holy Spirit work in a group of people who have little in common except Christ.
3. Work is good, I love my job and the people I work with are a lot of fun! Of course like any job, its not all fun and games. I am preparing to be gone from there for about 3 weeks. I am glad to be getting away for a while, but the paychecks are going to suffer!
4. I have been enjoying the freedom I am feeling in Christ. When I slow down and just think about the past several months of life, I can see how God has changed me. Last week I had a cool week of hanging out with a group of people who are amazing friends. All of us single adults with all kinds of bagage, yet we all love Christ and becasue of that fellowship with them is sweet and fun. I also was able to serve God by helping a lady from church move. Several of us gathered to support our sister in Christ, it was hard work...but again the fun and fellowship was very cool. Those of you who know me won't believe this...It is a new thing for me to be completely comfortable aroud a group of people I hardly know, I am excited to see how God is using this in my life. I am forming friendships with people based on Christ alone.
It seems close to forever that I have thought about blogging daily things that happen to me. I decided last night that it was time to start again. It helps me keep tabs on my life.
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Wish you were here...
Its evening and the sun is setting on one side of the sky as a storm rolls in from the other side. A few days ago I noticed a few fire flies in the yard close to the cow pasture and across it close to the tree line. Tonight there are hundreds, if not thousands. It is one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. The pasture is dark and all you can see is that greenish-yellow flash from all of the fire flies. In the distance there is real lightning, which adds to the beauty and awe of the moment.
I think most of us have these moments, words will not do in explaining what we saw and experienced. The moments when I seem so small and God seems so big.The moments you want to share with those you love, and those who need a smile. A moment you wish you could hold in your pocket for days filled with grief and dissatisfaction. Moments that, in our society, seem so far and few between.
As I was watching the fire flies and lightning in the distance, I thought about all the hours I spent as a child (and even an adult!) hunting "lightning bugs." There was a large tree in our backyard and the bugs seemed to gather there in the early summer. My brother, the boys next door, and I became heros in the neighborhood when we would catch 100s of them to give away as "pets." I don't know if anyone else ever had this problem, but ours always died after one or two nights. We would catch these bugs and just grab the first container we could find, put holes in the lid, and throw in a few blades of grass as fast as we could. As children we thought that this imitation of the fire flies' real living environment would do. How foolish to think that a bug created to live outside with fresh grass, trees, and water could live in our cheap imitation.
I am still foolish. I am still guilty of that... I ask Jesus to come and dwell in a heart that is often a cheap imitation of what it was created to be. I ask God to give me "moments" and don't do anything to prepare my heart. I just sit and expect God to act. Do you know what I have learned?.... I have more moments when I have been in the Word. I have more of these moments when I have been worshipping God for who He is. I am more in tune with God sending me these moments when I have been worshiping Him. I desire nothing more than for my heart to be authentic...as God created me to be... In love with Him.
I wish you could be here tonight to see the fire flies and the lightening. I wish you were here so I could tell you of my God, who is BIG enough to know my heart...and yours. I wish you could be here to experience the cool breeze and captivating view. I wish you were here so I could tell you of the healing God offers. I wish you were here so I could see the look on your face as you looked at thousands of bugs in a field. I wish you were here to hear from God tonight, I have.
I think most of us have these moments, words will not do in explaining what we saw and experienced. The moments when I seem so small and God seems so big.The moments you want to share with those you love, and those who need a smile. A moment you wish you could hold in your pocket for days filled with grief and dissatisfaction. Moments that, in our society, seem so far and few between.
As I was watching the fire flies and lightning in the distance, I thought about all the hours I spent as a child (and even an adult!) hunting "lightning bugs." There was a large tree in our backyard and the bugs seemed to gather there in the early summer. My brother, the boys next door, and I became heros in the neighborhood when we would catch 100s of them to give away as "pets." I don't know if anyone else ever had this problem, but ours always died after one or two nights. We would catch these bugs and just grab the first container we could find, put holes in the lid, and throw in a few blades of grass as fast as we could. As children we thought that this imitation of the fire flies' real living environment would do. How foolish to think that a bug created to live outside with fresh grass, trees, and water could live in our cheap imitation.
I am still foolish. I am still guilty of that... I ask Jesus to come and dwell in a heart that is often a cheap imitation of what it was created to be. I ask God to give me "moments" and don't do anything to prepare my heart. I just sit and expect God to act. Do you know what I have learned?.... I have more moments when I have been in the Word. I have more of these moments when I have been worshipping God for who He is. I am more in tune with God sending me these moments when I have been worshiping Him. I desire nothing more than for my heart to be authentic...as God created me to be... In love with Him.
I wish you could be here tonight to see the fire flies and the lightening. I wish you were here so I could tell you of my God, who is BIG enough to know my heart...and yours. I wish you could be here to experience the cool breeze and captivating view. I wish you were here so I could tell you of the healing God offers. I wish you were here so I could see the look on your face as you looked at thousands of bugs in a field. I wish you were here to hear from God tonight, I have.
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