Over?

I had my meeting with the last staff member from my old church yesterday. I met with the Senior Pastor and his wife.
It was both wonderful and terrible all in one. I know that sounds crazy but let me explain.

Wonderful...I have done what God has called me to do. I have apologized and given all of the staff members the opportunity to tell if they have anything against me. This is what God told me had to be done. With that in mind, I know I am done, it just doesn't feel that way yet. Please pray for me. I was able to say many things that were directly from God and not me, they were things that I didn't want to get into, but the situation presented itself and God gave me the words and courage to speak them. I was even able to call them out on somethings that they are doing that I believe are are unbiblical. WOW, that was scary!

Terrible-Heated discussions always make me feel like I am wrong and I give in easily. SO that happened several times. I just quit talking and listened. I think this was God's way of shutting me up form saying something that would be mean and that wouldn't bring God glory. I am feeling very overwhelmed my the whole situation because I feel like they beat me up emotionally for 2 hours.

So in a nutshell.. I have done what God has called me to do. I am done, even though I don't feel like they are not, I think they have just gotten started.. I am angry, sad, hurt, and I miss the good things about them and especially their kids. I know that that body is an unhealthy place yet it seems like life would have been easier if I would have just stayed. (That sounds crazy, but its how I feel) This is the worst it has been since I left.