Sick and Rambling

I have been sick for more than a week now! I am tired and need to sleep but I cannot get comfortable. So i have been thinking a lot. First about this dreaded sickness.. (I promise that this will lead into some thing good in the end.)

It started out as a little cough and then all hell broke loose in my body. You know the Nyquil commercial, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, fever... blah blah blah. By Thursday night I was exhausted. I made it through the closing shift at work and then I was done. On Friday I spent a whole day in bed. I got up for an hour, took a shower and then went back to bed for 6 hours. Somewhere in there I was up long enough to have a chocolate shake and then back to bed.

Saturday was better and then the fever hit. I ended up in Urgent Care after work on Sunday with a 101 fever and lots of asthma symptoms. The doctor started me on some antibiotics and steroids for my asthma. I felt a little better for a few days and then Wednesday ended up back to the doctor for asthma problems. When I got to the of ice I was not feeling well at all. I had a fever of 100, not bad and was short of breath from walking in the office. The doctor said that my lungs were in bad shape. I was wheezing and he couldn't hear any air moving in the lower sections of my lungs. The fever is probably an autoimmune response of my body reacting to all of the inflammation in my lungs. After talking about how to manage the asthma and the coughing and sore throat I ended up having 2 shots of steroids, one to work right away and a longer lasting one. Steroids are a great thing to do what need to be done for my lungs but the side effects have got to go. They make my very thirsty and so I am up several times a night to use the potty.

So, last night I was up EVERY hour from 1am-5am and then I had a terrible coughing fit. My lungs were very tight from not coughing all night thanks to the cough medication. Seems to be a bad cycle. I will spare you the rest of the details about what 4 days of antibiotics does to your digestive track, but that is when I was done!

Now, backing up to Home Team last night- We were talking about our time with God. Compared to last year do we feel like we are closer to God or have we taken a step back? Why do we plan to spend time with God and then we don't? Why after knowing from past experience that time with God is what we need, do we choose not to get with God? I have all intentions of Glorifying God and doing what he wants from my life, and some days I have all intentions and time to spend time in God's Word. And I don't. I read blogs, check my email, play with the dog, watch reruns of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, you know, pretty much everything except reading my Bible. God will make a way for us to be with Him!

So at 7:00 this morning after my body was completely exhausted from being up all night, I sat in the bathroom and prayed. I prayed for God to show me what is next. I asked God to give me a godly attitude toward fellowship. I begged God to restore my heart to a place where HE can change it. I prayed for a desire to see God and His plans for me, my friends, and my family in a new light that only God can provide. I prayed for my body to be healed. I prayed for a friend's shoulder pain to go away and for his daughter to be healed from a serious illness. Even though I was in pain and very tired, I had time with God, in the bathroom.

This last year has been an odd year. I know that I am not were I should be in my walk with God. My desire to spend time with God is just not there, this is concerning but I cannot seem to change it. I have learned so much this year. I know that God has been working in me through this year. I have experienced things this year that I never would have thought I would. There have been amazing things and their have been terrible things. There has been much joy and laughter and much sadness and grief.
I am excited about 2007, yet anxious and today I know that God is still here...