Battling Loneliness

All I can say about this is wow! It spoke to my heart.

From Max Lucado-No Wonder They Call Him the Savior

The most gut-wrenching cry of loneliness in history came not from a prisoner or a widow or a patient. It came from a hill, from a cross, from a Messiah. "My God, my God," he screamed, "why did you abandon me?" Never have words carried so much hurt, Never has one being been so lonely.

The crowd quietness as the priest receives the goat; the pure, unspotted goat. In a somber ceremony he places his hands on the young animal. As the people witness, the priest makes his proclamation, "The sins of the people be upon you." The innocent animal receives the sins of the Israelites. All the lusting, adultery and cheating are transferred from the sinners to this goat, to this scapegoat. He is then carried to the edge of the wilderness and released. Banished. Sin must be purged, so the scapegoat is abandoned. "Run, goat! Run!" The people are relieved. Yahweh is appeased. The sinbearer is alone. (Based on Leviticus 16:20-22)

And now on Skull's hill, the sinbearer is again alone. Every lie ever told, every object ever coveted, every promise ever broken is on his shoulders. He is sin. God turns away. "Run goat! Run!"

The despair is darker that the sky. The two who have been one are now two. Jesus, who has been with God for eternity, is now alone, The Christ, who was an expression of God, is abandoned. The Trinity is dismantled. The Godhead is disjoined. The unity is dissolved.

It is more than Jesus can take. He withstood the beatings and remained string at the mock trials, He watched in silence as those he loved ran away. He did not retaliate when the insults were hurled nor did he scream when the nails pierced his wrists.

But when God turned his head it was more than he could handle. "My God!" The wail rises from parched lips. The holy heart is broken. The sinbearer screams as he wonders in the eternal wasteland. Out of the silent sky comes the words screamed by all who walk in the desert of loneliness. "Why? Why did you abandon me?"

I keep thinking of the parents of a dead child. Or the friend at the hospital bedside. Or the elderly at the nursing home. Or the orphans. Or the cancer ward. I keep thinking of all the people who cast despairing eyes toward the dark heavens and cry "Why?"

And I imagine him. I imagine him listening. I picture his misting and a pierced hand brushing away a tear. And although he may offer no answer, although he may solve no dilemma, although the questions may freeze painfully in midair, he who also was once alone understands.