Hard Night

I had something weird happen to me tonight. I have felt like I am living in two worlds for a long time, and tonight that was confirmed. I want both worlds, they are both good. They both glorify God. I know in my heart that God has called me to this life. It just seems like an impossible task and its hard.

I am done being in the middle of these worlds. It is funny to me because one "world" is completely understanding of my need to protect and maintain relationships with the other. I wish both "worlds" saw it that way. I just don't think that they are thinking about how hard this is on me. They claim to love me...

It is time that everyone quit expecting me to "be on their side". I am not choosing a side and I think I have done a pretty good job of declaring that in the past.

All that to say that it has been a hard night... Much hurt, many tears, and lots of prayer!