Spencer Weedman

On our last staff retreat (November 2003) I had "moment" with God that I will never forget. I wrote a lot about it in my journal and have been sharing it with people since. God had a good purpose in allowing me to go down the path I did when I did. It was after this retreat that I had a scare that my cancer was back. This is my journal entry...

November 10, 2003
I am sitting here on the pier at the end of the Breakers complex, near the main channel of the Lake of the Ozarks. I am sitting on the edge of the retaining wall with my Bible and journal in my lap and my feet dangling off the edge. Its cold and windy, so I have on my huge coat and gloves... all I can hear is wind, waves, and my own breathing and sometimes the water is so loud that I can't even hear that! I am so close to the water that as I look down to write, I see the movement of the water and get that funny feeling that I am moving.

There is a concrete bench behind me that has a plaque on it, "In memory of Spencer Weedman." Being a little angry with God and life today, I threw down my stuff on the bench and said out loud, "Thank you Mr. Spencer Weedman, whoever you are." Then I began wondering who he was. Was he young or old? Did he die recently or was this just the first time I noticed the bench? How did he die? What kind of person was he? Was he a husband or a dad? What did he do for work, for fun? Who were his friends, his family? Who did he love? What did he love? Who loved him? Who loved him so much that they would have a bench here in his memory?

God this gets me thinking about legacy. What am I doing that will impact eternity? How will people remember me? Will they know that I loved Jesus? Will they know that I loved my family and friends? Did I lead them to Christ? Did I do all I could to Glorify God with all of who I was? Or will some stranger stumble upon a bench with my name on it? Will that be my legacy?

My greatest desire in life is to leave a legacy more than a bench. I want people to know that I loved Jesus. I want them to know that Jesus was the most important thing to me, always. I want my loved ones to know that I valued them and loved them so much that I wanted them to know the love of Jesus. I want them to know that I have been on my knees for their hearts as long as I have known Jesus. I want my friends and family to have seen Jesus in me.

This means I have a lot of work to do! God please help me remember this day. Please help me to see the urgency in life and act upon it. Thank you God for this lesson... and thank you Spencer Weedman. Your legacy lives on in this life.

Now...
When I wrote this I had faced cancer once. I had spent months fighting for my life and looking death in the face. Now, after another biopsy and set of scans for a relapse... I have faced it again. No matter how long I live, 26 years or 106 years... My life is short. The time is now. Today is the day to leave a legacy, not tomorrow, for tomorrow may never come.