Driveway

Today I was sitting at my desk when Jackson started to bark. When I looked out the window I notice a lady driving a Suburban was stuck at the top of our driveway. Now the driveway is covered in ice and goes downhill behind our house. So she proceeds to drive down to the back of the house near our garage, which is perfectly fine. She is obviously stuck and needed to get a faster start to exit the top of the driveway that has been covered with several inches of snow from the plow. Have I mentioned she was driving a suburban? As I let the dog outside I heard her spinning her tires, getting more stuck. I went out on the porch to watch and see what in the world she was doing. She rolled down the window and asks... Now prepare yourselves for this it is good!..."Why didn't you shovel this mess?" I just looked at her trying to retain all of the thoughts in my head that were just plain mean. Then I told her that maybe she should turn around and head up (the ice covered hill which she has never backed up before) in drive not reverse. She finally got out and I just stood on the deck in shock!

I wanted to respond in as many smart alike ways as I could think. Here is what some of them could have been...
"why didn't you shovel this mess?"
-Its our driveway, why do you care? Oh, yes I remember...You drove down it and got your huge SUV stuck! I can get my car out and it is a scary 10 year old car.
-I am allergic to snow!
-Well, we generally don't invite total strangers to our driveway.
-We have no problem getting up the hill.
-What snow?
-We don't like shovels.
-Who are you?
-Why are you here?
-Do you need the sheriff to get you out?
-What?
-Pay me $20 and the next time you get stuck in MY driveway I'll shovel it! -Get real lady, you are the idiot who drove down MY driveway. Sounds like you are the one with a problem, not me.

I hope this has brought laughter into your life today!