Train Wreck

Uh oh. I think the post holiday, post vacation yuckies have set in. This could be ugly! I just don't feel like doing anything, which wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have a million things to do!

I feel like an emotional train wreck. My life seems like it has been turned upside down and all of what I knew 6 weeks ago is gone. All I can think about is what God wants from my life and what God is showing me. It is hard to do that around here, everyone wants explanations about my moods and thoughts. My mom just can't "get it." She doesn't understand the idea of hearing from God.

My time in worship had been unbelievable, it is amazing to me how God can use music and a set of headphones to turn my heart to His.

I am reading Dangerous Wonder by Mike Yaconelli. He gives the idea that questions of God and for God and necessary. I believe this. I also believe another thing he says in this book. Yaconelli says that sometimes our questions leave us in a place where no one else wants to be near us, so therefore we feel lonely. He reminds readers that these are the times when Jesus is closest. So if my questions leave me alone with God, these are the best questions.

Being alone is a fear of mine and being alone with God is sometimes a miserable place for me to be. That is where I am now...Alone with God seeking His face and His will, asking questions and listening every waking moment.

Luke 2:19
"But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart."