You shouldn't be reading this here,

but you are.

I will not go into many details now (or maybe ever here on the blog), but I feel like life is a mess. Not mine, but ours. I cannot sleep, all I can do is think and pray. I wish I could turn my brain off, or at least the though process center of my brain.

Maybe he was right, if I could just go to sleep for a while and wake up, it would all be a dream and all would be fine.

I cannot help but think that this should be happening to another church somewhere else, far, far away. Why would I wish such confusion, fear, anger, hurt, and sadness on other Believers? Doesn't seem very nice, but I guess we think about these kinds of things when we just wish it wasn't us.

It would be nice if it was someone else far, far away... but we all know that it is not. It is us. And we must deal with this. We must move on. We must move forward.

God has ordained this for us now, He has promised to complete the good work in us. Now is the time.