I think spring is finally here. It as about 80 outside.

I came home from work and worked in the yard for a while. We are still trying to establish grass, that's a fun job! The front yard was sodded in the fall, so its not too bad. I added seed a few days back and watered it for several hours today. Hopefully the green will return soon. The back yard is another story, it was seeded in the fall and the grass is sparse at best. It is going to require a lot more TLC than the front.

I am not sure how it got to be Monday night. I have been tired and emotionally exhausted. It been weird because I have done the things I normally do, but I haven't really wanted to. Its kind of like I just went through the motions. When I woke up today I couldn't believe that it was Monday, it seemed like it should have only been Saturday.

Someone asked me how I was doing yesterday at church and I didn't want to lie. I couldn't say that I was fine or OK, because really I am not. I don't remember what I said but I wasn't comfortable going into all of the detail in front of several people. It was an awkward position, one that I don't like to be in. God has been trying to teach me about be more open with people forever. I have never done well with that. I don't feel like I will ever overcome this barrier and the fear that comes with it.

I worked on Saturday for a few hours and it was crazy. I was having what my coworkers and I have called an "off my game day" Fortunately the people I work with are awesome and earlier in the week two of the other ladies I work with experienced an off day. The way that we all work together as a team to get tasks completed is awesome and its fun to be a part of a place where we all are on the same page. In just 3 weeks I have fallen right into the routines and started forming some pretty cool friendships.

Today was a good test in independence for the new kids. Somehow we (the two new people, we both started 3 weeks ago) got left on our own for a few hours. Usually there are three of us and today just us. OUCH! At one point the other person was gone and I had about 5 people waiting at the desk and 3-4 people on hold on the phones. Thankfully this only last a few moments before I was rescued by more seasoned employees!

I have been busy tonight. I finished making some Mp3 files to take with me on my trip and arranged my music files on my new laptop. That was a long task. I have a lot more to do before I leave town for a conference in Minneapolis. We leave on Wednesday morning and will be home on Saturday. I feel like it is gong to be a long trip and I am very anxious. I am nervous about the people who I will be with and my emotional status. Recently, I have wanted a lot of quiet time in my life and being around a lot of people has been very overstimulating. I am praying that I will not feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable and I am doing the best I can at trusting that God has had this planned for me forever. Trusting God is hard right now even though I know he is faithful and good and all that He is.

I am going to bed now to avoid sleep related crabbiness, I don't need that!