Seriously

Ok, so I can't sleep. My thought are SO LOUD inside my head and I can't even begin to sort them right now. I am feeling sad, rejected, angry, scared, and confused right now. Just to give you the short list. I can't function like this much less sleep, and when I get tired all of these emotions just multiply until my life resembles a train wreck.

I sent an email to some of the people I need to talk to. I am not sure how well that is going to go over, I am sure that it will take a few days to get things scheduled. I know that what ever happens in each of these meetings, God can be glorified and that is my goal. I am sad that things are headed down the road they are with this group of people, truth is... Its not unexpected. I knew it in September when I resigned. What do you do? I suppose I have a few goals in each of these meeting that I need to remember and stick them.

1. To do what God has called me to do and say.
2. To tell them why I resigned and why I did it the way I did.
3. To listen to their hurts, anger, confusions, ect.
4. To apologize for hurting them and ask for forgiveness.
5. To Listen more than I talk.
6. To stay calm and humble-as Jesus would.
7. To say only what is absolutely necessary in each meeting and to leave all other stuff out
8. To get things "out in the open" so I don't have to hear He said, she said crap anymore, I am finished with that.
9. To have closure, what ever that is...
10. To Glorify God

I am looking forward to the end. I am ready to have this thing that we call closure. I hope and pray that God allows me to sleep and rest in knowing that He is my Rock and my Shelter until then.