Not the gifts

The Joy of the Lord is my strength. I am stuck. I cannot get away from this verse. Even in the midst of not feeling happy and continent, I can have joy. Joy that comes from my strength, the Lord. Not things I am good at, my personality, my “ I can do it” attitude, not people, not ministry, not feeling and emotions, but from God.

I want to be in a place in my life were I am joyful in the Lord and not things and people. It is so hard to live this way. Will I ever arrive at the place where my old self doesn’t take over?

I don’t think of myself as materialistic, but there is so much in life that I want. Most of the things I want are not material things. I want my mom to have a personal relationship with Christ. I want to be a godly wife to a godly husband that I am head-over-heals in live with. I want to have children. I want to be happy. I want to be a good friend and I want friends I can trust, who will encourage me in my life with Christ, not hinder it and vice versa. I want love to be real in my life. I want Christ to be real in my life. All of these things are good things. I trust that God is planning my life and will give me things I need, just when I need them; not to soon and not to late. I also know that God desires me to love Him above all else. I need to worship Him, the gift giver, not the gifts. I don’t want to be the person who mistakes the Person for the things He does, because I know that God NEVER mistakes who I am for what I do… and that is GRACE!