Why Must I Have a Title?

New address

2008-03-13T16:20:00.000-05:00

Come visit my new blog!

Sleepover

2007-12-02T22:04:00.000-06:00

On Friday night I had Brighton and Abby over for a sleepover. We had lots of fun and lots of food. I took the girls to Taco Bell for dinner and then we came home and had popcorn, candy, soda and even some milk. The girls picked out 2 movies at Blockbuster.

After we ate and the popcorn was made we changed into our jammies and watched a movie. Abby and I feel asleep at about 9:30pm and Brighton was awake until 10:30 when the movies was over. I thought for sure that I would be up with them until the wee hours, but I guess when you get a 8 year olds out of bed at 6am, they are tired by 10pm.

The next morning I fixed hot chocolate, pancakes, and bacon. After breakfast the girls went downstairs to play. They play with the dolls I had when I was their age. It was fun to watch them play together and not argue over them. It was fun to see my dolls after so long in boxes.Brighton and Abby also enjoyed the dog kennel and the toddler tricycle.

It was fun to spend time with these girls, we had a great talk about God and what he desires from us as young women. Of course with girls this age we did talk about boys. They are so young to worry about this, yet our society is demanding that children grow up so fast. I had a great "teachable moment" to tell them that God wants us to focus on Him and not boys. The insight that the girls had already about focusing on God and not boys was amazing. I pray that each of these girls will remember these things as the face the beginning of the teenage years. I also pray that this was just the first sleepover of many that we will be able to have! I love Brighton and Abby and can't wait to spend time with them as they grow!

View from my Office Window in October

2007-12-02T21:44:00.000-06:00

I work in Marthasville, MO. The campus is unbelievably beautiful, all throughout the year. The campus is an Old Theological Seminary and has been there since the 1890s. This October it was especially pretty.

I almost missed this....

2007-12-01T12:14:00.000-06:00

Winston came to live with us 2 weeks ago. In those two weeks I have been getting up about 1 hour earlier and taking Winston and Jackson for a walk. We have made good progress in our walks. The first morning Jackson walked perfect, like always as long as he has his training collar on, and I dragged Winston down to the corner and back. Day 2 was better, less dragging.
By day 3 Winston walked along with Jackson. Then came the day I had a broken finger. That was HARD work, it was cold and I had to hold both leashes in one hand. I tried a new route on this walk and actually ended up lost! I almost had to call for a rescue pick up and then I found a street name that I knew lead back to the main road. 2 weeks have gone by and we have now made it up to 2 miles in about 35-40 minutes.

On Tuesday of this week, I did NOT want to get up. I was tired, my hand was hurting and I had an allergic reaction to the tape on my hand the night before so I was suffering the benadryl hangover. I dragged myself up the stairs, got dressed, wrangled the dogs and head out the door and saw this....

God is so good to grant us little surprises when we need them most. As I was walking that morning, I was very aware of God in my life and thankful that I had breath and life to drag myself out of bed to see His Glorious creation.

Its a Boy!

2007-11-19T19:14:00.000-06:00

This is Winston... he is the new addition to the family. His eyes need to be fixed in this picture, but you get the idea!

He is a German Shorthaired Pointer and he is so cute. He was born on August 2, 2007, he is just under 4 months old.

Winston seems to like Jackson. I am not so sure that Jackson is all that excited about him all of the time, Jackson is getting old enough to want to his rest. That is when the kennels come in handy!

My Brother is Offically Married

2007-11-19T18:46:00.000-06:00

Well the day has come and gone... a month ago... and a few days.

It was a fun day and I was blessed by getting to spend the time before the wedding with Ashley.

2007-10-16T20:09:00.000-05:00

The Power of Prayer

2007-08-14T21:45:00.000-05:00

A Few weeks ago, in my preparation to go back to El Mezquital and to see the people who have become dear to me, I found some pictures of Pastor Victor preaching on Sunday. Last year Pastor Victor preached a sermon called the Power of Prayer. Even though I did not understand 95% of what he said, I could tell that God was speaking through him to his church, to the people of El Mezquital, and to me.

I have prayer before. I have thanked God for who He is and for what He has done. I have asked God for health, safety, patience, grace, comfort, healing, peace, love, joy, and much more. I have allowed my prayer time to become stale and I have been guilty of saying “ I will pray for you.” And then I forgot as quick as it the words come off of my lips. Sometimes I feel like my prayers make an impact, but most of the time I feel like it is wasted breath.

One year after I heard Pastor Victor’s sermon on prayer, I have experienced the Power of Prayer as I never have in my own life. On evening as we were preparing to show the Jesus film in Matamoros at the location of the new church plant of Bautista Horeb, a few of us were witnesses to something very scary. In the house closest to where we were, a man was beating his wife, pulling her around by her hair, and yelling at her and their children. One of the older children ran down the road to where the woman’s father lived. The father and the children who lived in the home returned and the father had a baseball bat. He rescued his child and his grandchildren and sped off in the direction of his home. The man who had been abusing his family followed down at about 60 miles an hour. The roads in this community could be compared to a very poor dirt path. The husband was obviously drunk. The children from the community were all watching a chattering about the incident. Luckily, I only caught the tail end of this horror, but they children had seen it all.

After standing in shock for several moments and feeling scared and like the Enemy had just proved his presence, I got several people together to pray, it was all we could do. As I looked around several small groups of people were praying. I prayed for safety from this man and his anger and a few other things. As I prayed the words, “God we know that this man needs you, call him to yourself and if that means you bring him over here, bring him.” As soon as the words came out of my mouth I was shocked, I closed my prayer quickly and thought in awe. This was the first time that I can remember not having to think about what I was praying, words were just coming out of my mouth. It was rather scary; I knew the Holy Spirit had been there. I spent most of the rest of the night in awe of what I had just experienced. We never heard a thing from him the rest of the evening, but he was watching and listening to what was going on so close to his home.

The next morning when we arrived at the church, the man was still sitting in his car, probably past out from the night before. As we prepared to start clinics and other activities of the day, he began to drive around on the streets closest to the church. He was watching what we were doing. Several minutes later, this man approached a group of men from our group including the Pastor Benjamin, (Bautista Horeb), Pastor Ron, (2Rivers), Ricardo (member of Bautista Horeb) and Sam (member of 2Rivers and translator), to ask if he could have some gasoline for his car. Apparently, he needed to go somewhere.

The men told him that they would give him some gas, but first they needed to talk to him about the way he was treating his wife and his family the night before. The man, Raul, broke down and started crying and he asked the men to come to his house to talk. I had seen the men talking to a man, but I had no idea it was the same man from the night before until I looked over into his house and saw a bunch of our men in his home. While in Raul’s home, the men told him that it was unacceptable treat his family in such a way and that the drinking needed to end. He agreed with them, broke down, and told his life story. Raul’s father had been an alcoholic and his mother had died when he was three. He did not want this for his children and recognized his need to end the cycle. Now, his wife, Esmeralda, had left because of his drinking and she had taken their three children, ages 11, 8 and 6, with her. After much talking and discussion the men were able to present the Good News to Raul and he recognized his need for the Savior, Raul accepted the Lord.

It was not until that afternoon while on the ride back to El Mezquital that I heard about all of this. It was quite overwhelming! All I could think about was the feeling I had the night before and the prayer that God gave to me! After we completed some visits in El Mezquital we had the honor and blessing of meeting with Raul to pray with and to encourage him. I was a little nervous about entering his home, but the men who were with me assured me that he was safe. We all went into to Raul's very small one room home. It was maybe 15ft x 15 ft in size. He has a small table and one chair, a full sized bed, a stove, and a cabinet in the home. One could tell that children once occupied the home. There was a coloring page one of them had made that said “Happy Birthday Daddy, I love you.” A few other belongs were throughout the home. Raul, his wife and three children all lived in this small home.

As we began to talk with him and pray, Raul started crying again. He broke down and was weeping uncontrollably. He was shaking and crying aloud. Raul was confessing his sins to us; he was completely undone before and the Lord. We prayed for him for a while and it was a truly unique and God moment. I was so amazed by his attitude and his brokenness over his sin. He was a broken man and he had nothing but the Lord. Someone mentioned that God was his only hope and I remembered a bookmark that I received earlier in the week, I was waiting to share it with someone special, and here it was the last day of our trip. I ran out to the van and brought it to Raul. I gave it to him as a reminder that God was his only hope and the without God there was no hope of recovery for his family! After we were done praying, I looked out the door and I saw the Church. I thought in my head, “He will be a leader there one day,” and seconds later Pastor Ron told him, “Maybe next year when we come back, you will be the Pastor over there.” I knew God was in that thought and I look forward to my next trip to see what God has done with Raul and the church.

As we parted ways after much prayer and many hugs and words of encouragement, we took a few pictures and said goodbye. While I was walking back to the van, I was amazed at how God had changed this man from a very scary individual to a man after God's heart in one day. I recalled my feelings of fear and discomfort the evening before and compared that to how I was feeling then, while standing next to him. I did not want to leave Raul; I wanted to know more about his life and his family and what brought him to were he was.

My feeling of sadness that we had to leave is still with me. I understand addictions and the desperation to continue in them. This has only led me to pray fro Raul, Esmeralda, and their children repeatedly. I don’t even know them, yet I miss them. I long for them to know God in a way that will change them into people who will serve the Lord and honor Him in all they do.

God taught me so much through this experience with Raul. God showed me that my prayers, when aligned with the will of God are effective. I now understand the true power of prayer. God taught me that he gives us the desire to pray and he wants to bless us though those prayers. God’s plan for Raul was written long before my prayer, and God did not need me to pray for Raul to recognize his need for God. God could have done it all…by Himself. Instead, God allowed me to be blessed. He allowed me to pray what I did. He allowed me to experience horror and fear of Raul. He allowed me to catch a glimpse into the house when the men were in there praying. He allowed me to be in the van to hear the story first hand from Pastor Ron and Sam. He allowed me to meet Raul and experience his brokenness before the Lord. He allowed me to love on a man who needed nothing more. He allowed my heart to be moved by this experience. He blessed me in His work and I could ask for nothing more.

Raul's children. The only photo he has of them, it is many years old.

Raul's home as seen from the Church

Greetings

2007-08-09T18:32:00.001-05:00

Healing and Mexico

2007-06-23T21:31:00.000-05:00

Jackson is healing nicely! He actually played out in the yard most of the afternoon, in thunderstorms!

I mowed the lawn and attempted to plant a new tree. The ground was so compacted down, I think from the tractors from construction driving all over the back yard. Needless to say, the tree is still in a pot.

My annual Mission trip to Mexico is coming up very quickly. I have mixed emotions about going. I am excited and anxious all at the same time. I am not sure what I am going to be doing in Mexico this year, the past 2 years I have planned and organized the activities for the kids. It was a huge challenge and I feel like it was a whole lot of work, with out the outcome that I envisioned. It is hard for me when I work so hard at planning something and "seeing" how it will work out, and then the actual outcome "falling short." Last year, El Club de Biblia para los ninos, was so crazy! There was very little time in which we could get translators and it was hard for us non Spanish speaking individuals to communicate Bible lessons and directions for crafts. It was very difficult. I had more fun making bracelets and coloring with the kids while there was down time. I also was able o help in the medical clinic and with a few other small projects.

This year I am not sure where I am going to fit in. I really want to do clinic and help the nurses. I think this would give me wonderful hands-on experience for a career in nursing. I also want to help with the kids becasue I enjoyed them last year and I have a lot of knowledge in what works in Mexico and what does not. I am hoping that I will be able to pass along some of this knowledge this year and have time to hang out with children and do a few things, but also have time to be in the clinics.

I think the time away from home and work will be good. I am ready to have a vacation from my life, I will miss the Brown kiddos though!

OUCH

2007-06-19T21:25:00.000-05:00

If you are not a dog person, or at least have a pet that you love... the following might make you think I am crazy!

Jackson has had a bad week, while we were at Dad's house for Fathers Day and he was swimming and playing in the water all day. You know how your toes and finger tips get all wrinkled and soggy when you spend too much time in the water? Well, it happens to dogs too!

While that skin on his paws was all soggy and wrinkled, he ran up the gravel drive and ripped his paw pads open. He can hardly walk now! I took him to the vet yesterday and they can't do much about it except tell me not to let him run and to keep him resting! NO PROBLEM DOC, he can't walk! The paws are bleeding a little now and he is walking with his toes all curled up so he doesn't put the middle of his foot down. It is pretty miserable looking. I have cried a lot trying to get him to eat and go out to potty. I realize he is a dog, blah blah blah, but he is MY dog and I love him!

I am not sure I should ever have children, I was a mess at the vet and each time I see him try to walk to his bed or his food, I cry! The vet said it was like if we had 3rd degree burns on the whole bottom of our feet! OUCH! I cried today and yesterday when I left for work, and I cried when he wouldn't go potty this morning. He is eating at least ow and he is drinking again, I know those are good things, maybe it won't take much longer to heal.

I am sure that he will be as crazy as ever in just a few more days! I am excited to take him back to swim! HE LOVES IT!

This is Jackson at the Dog Swim at the end of last pool season at the city pool.

This is Jackson's pool!

Mother’s Day Weekend

2007-05-18T21:19:00.000-05:00

My mom turned Matt, Ashley and me into slaves on Mother’s Day Weekend. Well, we volunteered, but it was hard work. On Saturday, all 4 of us worked in the yard from 1-7pm. We all worked on several projects. Matt buried the sub pump pipe and dug a little pit for it to drain into so that dirt will not back up into the pipe.

He also dug a hole for a tree and a bush in the front yard.

He dug up the grass and moved it from the front to the back so that we could make another flower bed. Ashley and I weeded and planted a new flower bed on the side of the house. We got several shade loving pants into the ground where they will thrive! I mowed the side yards and back yard while Ashley and Mom raked the front from earlier in the week. Then I mowed half of the front yard and Mom finished it. I ran the weed eater all along the house and areas that needed it. The Ashley and I raked the front yard again after the mowing was completed. We finished up all of our hard work with a nice pork roast dinner including salad, corn on the cob, and potatoes. We all worked together and it was very good! Matt and Ashley stayed at the house until about 9:30pm. It was a long day, but we got a lot accomplished and the yard was on its way to looking good. We even found a little turtle while mowing. I captured him, feed him strawberries and I wanted to keep him until Brighton and Kiana could see him, but Matt stole him from his new home and put him back in the yard!

A Mother's Day Gift from Matt and Ashley

On Sunday, Mom and I got up early and got ready for our day. We went to the St Louis Zoo for the morning. It was a very nice day and the Zoo was already busy when we arrived. We saw tons of stuff, but our favorite was the Baby Elephant, Maliha. She is nine months old now and just plays like a kid! She was sleeping on the ground went we got there and her mother was covering her with hay, but in a few minutes she was up and walking all around. We even got to see her nurse from her momma, which was amazing! She just lifted her little trunk right out of the way! It was fun to watch the her.

We wanted to make it to the monkeys and the Red Rock area of the Zoo, but we were hungry and ready to eat. We rode the train around and finished our morning listening to the train engineer Zoo tour!

On the way home we stopped at Wal-Mart to get some food for lunch and dinner and we also went to Lowe’s. Wal-Mart had Alberta Spruce trees on sale, so we bought 10! We also bought a new hose and many more plants to get in the ground. So as you can imagine, we spent the rest of the day outside getting the new stuff in the ground. I dug 10 tree holes and got them all in. I also completed the mowing on the back hill. We really wanted to get some stuff planted up there, but we decided to call Dig-Rite first. So we planted a nice row of trees instead. I am sure we will buy a few more the weekend. I did find 3-4 small trees on the hill while I mowed. We are going to nurture them and hopefully they will grow into nice big trees!

Our row of trees now starts 4 feet from the road and goes althe way to the back of the house.

These are some of the flower pot arrangements we put together this week end. This one has Elephant Ears, some type of yellow daises, phlox, and other green and pretty stuff!

This one is kind of a mystery. We planted some petunias seeds and a seed mix, as well as the green spiky grass.

Lavender flower bed.

Ivy under the deck.

The side house flower bed. Includes all kinds of things that love the shade.

Trees waiting to get in the ground and a floer pot to decorate the drive way...

New flower bed under a bay window

David's Tree

A New Kind of Algebra

2007-05-18T19:28:00.000-05:00

If you know me at all, you know how much I despise advanced math.

Honestly, I couldn’t care any less about math. I can add, subtract, multiply and divide. I can find the area of simple shapes and I use math daily in my job. I really can do it if I can remember all of the formulas and rule on when to use what. College algebra and trig scare me.

In the past 8 months I have conquered 3 huge math mountains. First, I had to re-take the ACT and I was not worried at all about the test until I remembered the math. I got a review book and I studied every minute that I could. When I got stuck, I asked for help. My friends, Jennifer and James helped me get out of that mess and I moved on. Test day came and went. I used every minute of the math section to complete it. (I am almost always a fast test taker and very rarely do I used all of the time given.) It seems liked forever before I got my results, but they were good. I got 6 points higher than needed to get into the college! My highest score was in math!

Next was a drug calculation test. I studied and completed a whole book of practice problems. I memorized conversions that no one uses anymore, like grains, and I learned how to figure out how many drops an IV drops for a given dose. I passed that test with a 97%.

Last, there was chemistry. Oh, I am so glad to be done with that class! It almost killed me. I have NEVER struggled that hard in school before in my life. I would sit in class and everything seemed to fit together and make sense. When I took the online quizzes, it was evident that I didn’t “get it” as much as I thought while still in class. My lab was fun; I enjoyed the instructor and my lab partners. The instructor was fun, outgoing, and loved to teach! My lab partners and I worked together and did fairly well. We only caught one thing on fire the whole semester and that wasn’t our fault. (An extra person joined our group for the day, he did it! I promise!) I did well in the lab because our book had each problem laid out with an example and all we had to do was plug in our numbers to get the correct answer, it the lecture quizzes that got me. I struggled for several weeks learning formulas, gas laws, and other (as I see it) useless information. I finally got to the point that I had no idea what formula to use when and I had no idea when to use grams of a substance or Moles of a substance. Needless to say, this was beginning to take at toll on my grade (a big old whopping C). I finally met with a tutor who goes to my church, Randy, and gained lots of my confidence back. As we sat and looked at the problems, I was so close and had the basic idea of solving them. It was just math that got in the way of my confidence. I told Randy that all I needed was a C in this class and that I would be perfectly happy. I was right on the line of a C and a D. I prayed and prayed and had friends pray the night of the final. I was sick to my stomach for 2 days before and I couldn’t sleep the night before. (I have NEVER been like that over a test before.) On test night, I felt anxious, but as ready as I could be. I did the questions I knew how to do first, this took about an hour and then I went back to tackle the others. After looking at a few, I sat there recognizing the questions but just not sure how to do it! I prayed and talked my self back to a calm state. After about 5 minutes of looking at one problem, it just came to me! I got it and I completed the final. I got a passing grade and completed the course with a C. I found out when I went to my car that Brandi had been raying hard for me the same time that ‘I got it.”

God is good.

Like I mentioned before, I rarely have struggled in school. I got mostly As and Bs (excluding World History- who cares?) and the thought of a C was not fun. That is when my dad told me that C=RN. That is the truth! I can do that kind of algebra!

2007-04-03T21:20:00.001-05:00

I am alive

2007-04-03T21:15:00.000-05:00

and nothing reminds me more than this family's story.

More soon... I promise.

Visit http://www.ninetynineballoons.com/ for more information about Eliot.

My New Job

2007-02-23T07:35:00.000-06:00

I started my new job last Wednesday. So far I am learning a lot and really enjoying it! It has been interesting to learn the history of the organization and to see the plans for the future.

In just 1 short week I have been blessed by the strong Christian faith that exists here.

This is the chapel on the campus where I will be each day!

Here is the mission and vision of my new employer.

Mission: Arising from faith in Jesus Christ, the mission of ---- is to enhance the quality of life for adults of all beliefs who have cognitive, intellectual and other developmental disabilities.

Vision:----- will be an outstanding provider of a care continuum, within nurturing communities, for adults with cognitive, intellectual and other developmental disabilities.

School

2007-01-29T17:33:00.000-06:00

Well, here we are in the third week of school. I am getting into a
routine and schedule. It is hard working full time and going to school
three days a week. Some of the people I work with don't get how much
work my classes require, they are in school one day a week! I am not
sure how my mom made it through her bachelor's degree with 3 kids,
and a fulltime job and school work. Maybe she is super woman!!

The fist three days of the week are the worst and then the rest of the
week just sails by. Monday I work from 8:15-4:45pm, rush home for an
hour to let Jackson out and eat dinner, then I head to school for a
6:30-9:30pm class. On Tuesdays I usually work from 9-5 and then head
to grab something to eat and then its off to school for a 6:30-9:30
class. Then on Wednesdays I am at work from 9-5, I come home for a
little while and then I have home team. Last week by about 8:30pm at
home team, I was so tired I could hardly stay awake. I was asleep by
10:30pm. Thursdays are better with a lab at 10am and
work from 1-9. I feel like I am never at home! My time at home, alone,
is the time I get rest and energy to carry on throughout the week, so I
have been feeling a bit tired and ready to sleep when the time comes!

My classes are good and I am enjoying them. I am still studying like
crazy for my Drug Calculation test at the end of February. I will be
glad when that is over! I am calculating IV drip flow rates in my sleep.
I am not kidding! I think about the formulas all of the time, I guess that is a
good thing since I need to know them for the test.

From Tom

2007-01-23T18:01:00.000-06:00

My friend Tom is cool. He sent this out with our hometeam reminder.
Some days (today) I need things like this....

Romans 8:38-39
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

that is some good news. If you are in His hand, no one is taking you out. no one is removing you, no one can touch you or tear you from Him. That is security and that is something that when you work your mind around it, helps you stand strong, stand firm and find joy where the world sees only folly. God is the mighty warrior over you and He will not let anyone tear you away from Him, if you are His, eternity with Him is yours. Praise God for His strength, goodness and mercy. Nothing you face is bigger than Him. You face it not alone, and you face it with His knowledge that you are facing it. You are secure. Rest in Him. When all the world falls apart, Rest in Him.

John Piper is Bad

2007-01-16T23:37:00.000-06:00

My Favorite Part
"No, but I don't disapprove of it."

Photoshop Lessons

2007-01-15T23:59:00.000-06:00

I am learning how to use Photoshop Elements! There is a lot to learn, but it is fun to figure out things when they do what you want! Brandi sent me some pictures of Xander today and I thought I would play with this one.

School Starts Tomorrow

2007-01-15T23:08:00.000-06:00

That's right... my first class is tomorrow night. I have Chemistry on Tuesday nights and the lab on Thursday mornings. My Anatomy and Physiology class will be on Mondays. I am excited to get started, but a little anxious about when I am going to study. I set up a little study area in the basement today.

It may be a while before I get to use it though, we are having the basement worked on this week. Apparently, the soil around our house in something called "plastic soil" (a soil capable of being molded or deformed continuously and permanently into various shapes by moderate pressure). It basically means that the soil has compacted into the foundation at a fast rate and has created to much pressure for the house to handle. We noticed a problem after all of the snow in December started to melt. The basement was damp around the perimeter and the sump pit was full of water. Needless to say- this has put off any finishing of the basement for a while. The work will start this week. They will be digging up lots of stuff- a 3 ft wide, 9 ft deep hole outside along the house and a few feet deep on the inside perimeter. They will lay drain tiles and some kind of sealant to the concrete inside and out. We will also have 2 sump pumps and a dehumidifier installed. All of this on a 2 year old house! Yikes!

A bird dog

2007-01-04T23:02:00.000-06:00

As I was writing my last post, Jackson was outside. He has been asking to come in for several minutes and then he stopped. That is when I started to hear the strangest noise. At first I though that it was a TV in the other room. Next, I decided that it was kids from the neighborhood playing at the end of the street. The noise settled down and then got nervous that something had happened to my dog. I hopped up and got to the door as quickly as I could while trying not to dump my laptop in the floor. This is what I found..

Jackson, at the end of his leash at the farm side of our yard looking at and listening intently to SOMETHING. I got my shoes on and walked over by him and then I heard it! I am pretty sure it was a turkey! That is when the laughing started...

Jackson, the 90 pound bird dog, (who, backed the ADT salesman about 10 feet from my door with his barking) jumped behind me and started shaking. We stayed out there for a while and listened and he stood behind me the entire time. Since he came in the house he has been plastered to my side like the vicious turkey is going to come in here at eat him alive. I am so glad to know that if there ever is any danger or threat on my life that he will come to my rescue. What a sissy! My bird dog is afraid of Turkeys and thereofre birds.

Sick and Rambling

2007-01-04T22:23:00.000-06:00

I have been sick for more than a week now! I am tired and need to sleep but I cannot get comfortable. So i have been thinking a lot. First about this dreaded sickness.. (I promise that this will lead into some thing good in the end.)

It started out as a little cough and then all hell broke loose in my body. You know the Nyquil commercial, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, fever... blah blah blah. By Thursday night I was exhausted. I made it through the closing shift at work and then I was done. On Friday I spent a whole day in bed. I got up for an hour, took a shower and then went back to bed for 6 hours. Somewhere in there I was up long enough to have a chocolate shake and then back to bed.

Saturday was better and then the fever hit. I ended up in Urgent Care after work on Sunday with a 101 fever and lots of asthma symptoms. The doctor started me on some antibiotics and steroids for my asthma. I felt a little better for a few days and then Wednesday ended up back to the doctor for asthma problems. When I got to the of ice I was not feeling well at all. I had a fever of 100, not bad and was short of breath from walking in the office. The doctor said that my lungs were in bad shape. I was wheezing and he couldn't hear any air moving in the lower sections of my lungs. The fever is probably an autoimmune response of my body reacting to all of the inflammation in my lungs. After talking about how to manage the asthma and the coughing and sore throat I ended up having 2 shots of steroids, one to work right away and a longer lasting one. Steroids are a great thing to do what need to be done for my lungs but the side effects have got to go. They make my very thirsty and so I am up several times a night to use the potty.

So, last night I was up EVERY hour from 1am-5am and then I had a terrible coughing fit. My lungs were very tight from not coughing all night thanks to the cough medication. Seems to be a bad cycle. I will spare you the rest of the details about what 4 days of antibiotics does to your digestive track, but that is when I was done!

Now, backing up to Home Team last night- We were talking about our time with God. Compared to last year do we feel like we are closer to God or have we taken a step back? Why do we plan to spend time with God and then we don't? Why after knowing from past experience that time with God is what we need, do we choose not to get with God? I have all intentions of Glorifying God and doing what he wants from my life, and some days I have all intentions and time to spend time in God's Word. And I don't. I read blogs, check my email, play with the dog, watch reruns of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, you know, pretty much everything except reading my Bible. God will make a way for us to be with Him!

So at 7:00 this morning after my body was completely exhausted from being up all night, I sat in the bathroom and prayed. I prayed for God to show me what is next. I asked God to give me a godly attitude toward fellowship. I begged God to restore my heart to a place where HE can change it. I prayed for a desire to see God and His plans for me, my friends, and my family in a new light that only God can provide. I prayed for my body to be healed. I prayed for a friend's shoulder pain to go away and for his daughter to be healed from a serious illness. Even though I was in pain and very tired, I had time with God, in the bathroom.

This last year has been an odd year. I know that I am not were I should be in my walk with God. My desire to spend time with God is just not there, this is concerning but I cannot seem to change it. I have learned so much this year. I know that God has been working in me through this year. I have experienced things this year that I never would have thought I would. There have been amazing things and their have been terrible things. There has been much joy and laughter and much sadness and grief.
I am excited about 2007, yet anxious and today I know that God is still here...

Christmas Dinner

2007-01-04T21:40:00.000-06:00

My brother Matt and his girlfriend, Ashley, had us over the day after Christmas for dinner. I spent the night after spending Christmas day with my dad. Matt and I stayed up way to late playing Dr Mario and reliving our childhood rivalry! It was fun. All in all it was a good time. It was kind of a nice to visit with my aunt and uncle with out a lot of "stressful" conversations like we have had in the last year.

Matt and Ashley prepared a wonderful meal of Steak and Lobster and all of the fixings! Here is a picture I snapped as the lobsters came out of the boiling water. I think it may be one of my new favorite pictures, notice the steam.

Brighton Show, Take 2

2006-12-19T17:42:00.000-06:00

Brighton Show, Take 1

2006-12-18T21:47:00.002-06:00

Itsy Bitsy Spider

2006-12-18T21:47:00.001-06:00

Teh

2006-12-18T21:23:00.000-06:00

Why is it that every time I go to tpye the world THE my fingers type the H and the E in teh (example #1) wrong order! Augh. This drives me crazy, everytime I run the spell checker I end up with every THE spelled wrong! And I have noticed taht (SEE?) the problem is spreading to other words such as: then (tehn), them (tehm), these (tehse), and, (I am sure it is not the last "th" word that I will mess up), that (taht)!

I don't understand what is wrong woth my brain or my fingers. Could it possible be my key board just picking up the letters in the wrong order? I mean I am an intelligent woman who has been typing for years. I type daily and fairl well. What is teh (AUGH) deal? I wish it was so easy to blame the keyboard, but it happens at work, at home, and pretty much everywhere I type!

One more thing about the word "teh." IT is NOT "tea" I never write that word, but blogger and Thunderfox seem to think it is the word I menat to type.

Ok Done!

Black Market

2006-12-18T21:16:00.001-06:00

I am going to start the black market sale of pictures and videos of Xander, Brighton and Kiana. It seems that Tom and Brandi don't get picture out to the family so I have become the source ( I have no idea why they don't have time). If you are interested in my pictures of the kids or the great videos see the following fee schedule.

Picture of one kid $15.00
Picture with 2 kids $17.00
Picture of ALL three kids in one shot: $25
AND if they are all smiling and looking at the camera: $375.00

Video: Please conact Alicia, the price varies depending on lenghth of video and cutest of content.

Ok so I am just kidding! I will provide them for FREE!
Stay tuned for more videos, stories, and pictures. After a week with them, I am have a lot and I will post them this week as time allows!

Xander Show, Episode #2

2006-12-06T20:41:00.000-06:00

If you listen closely, you can here him say Weesh!

Xander Show, Episode #1

2006-12-06T20:21:00.000-06:00

Xander Update

2006-12-06T20:01:00.001-06:00

Xander is feeling better! And better than that, he is home from the hospital.

Last night, while Brandi and Tom went Swing Dance Class, I kept the kiddos and I got this picture. It's no "Brandi Brown Photo" shot, but it sure is CUTE!

Pray for Xander

2006-12-02T09:39:00.000-06:00

Little Xander is in the hospital. He has had a cold for the last week, and last night it got worse. Tom and Brandi took him to the hospital, he has RSV. This is a common cold virus that older kids and adults usually don’t have a problem with, but babies have a tough time with it, and Xander is pretty sick. They have him on oxygen, IV fluids, and breathing treatments.

Tom and Brandi are at the hospital with him and I am here at the house with Kiana and Brighton. Please pray for God to send healing to this little guy, he is just 9 weeks old. Pray for God to protect him, Toma and Brandi at the hospital. Also pray for Brighton and Kiana. Bri is old enough to understand what is going on, but Kiana just knows the Bubba went bye bye and so did Momma and Daddy. Pray that we have fun this weekend and that we stay safe!

Just Kidding!

2006-12-02T08:52:00.000-06:00

OK, so I was kidding in my last blog post that it wouldn't be a month. Oh well, life happens and I have been a busy person.

A quick update:

I finally got my ACT scores! I got a 26! I needed a 20 to be accepted to the program, now I just need to get a 90% or higher on the dosage calculation test. That test will not be until February 23rd. I have plenty of time to study! I am doing well so far, and the is math that actually makes sense to me.

My mom got a new job!It is such a blessing! She will is working as a clinical nurse educator at St Luke's Hospital. This is a great job for her as it allows her to use her 30+ years of experience in the nursing field to teach other nurses. It is much better than a staff nurse job for her. And they will be paying her what a nurse with her experience is worth.

My grandma is here from Chicago. She has been here since Thanksgiving and see will be here until just before Christmas. She has really gotten a lot worse mentally since her last visit. She can't remember much and has a hard time having a conversation. Some of this could be related to her hearing problem but she refuses to get hearing aides. She also has a cataract that is limiting her vision. She sleeps most of the time, we are not sure what this is about. We think it is because her medication is not regulated. She has been mental ill, for about her whole life and sleeping is a way the she copes when her medications are not working. Of course she told the doctor that she cannot sleep at night (she sleeps all day, does it surprise anyone that she can't sleep at night too?) and he prescribed a sleeping pill. That just makes it worse. It has been pretty easy having her here, she just has to have the TV on constantly- on QVC of all things!

I am doing well. Preparing to go back to school is both exciting ad scary at the same time. I will be taking Chemistry and Anatomy and Physiology I in the spring and Microbiology and A & P II in the summer. It will sure be busy, but God is good and I am ready for what he has for me in all of this!

Busy

2006-10-30T12:30:00.000-06:00

In response to Amy's post about how people don't update their blogs enough....

I have been busy! I have decided to go back to school. I am officially enrolled in classes for January!

I am trying to get into the Nursing program for the Fall of 07. There are only 80 spots available and about 300 people who want them. I have successfully jumped through all but one of the hoops that they require! I have collected all of my transcripts, gathered my immunization records, taken the ACT (it has to be a score within 5 years, I took it the first time 10 years ago! OUCH), and registered for the dosage calculations class. I have to one of the first 80 people to pass that test to get into the program for the fall of 07. My test date is toward the end of the line, but I know that God has that under controls!

I will update in more details soon.... I promise it won't be a month! No more ACT prep = more time to update the blog!

For some good reading while you wait, check this out!

Hannibal Family Retreat

2006-10-07T14:12:00.000-05:00

I am in Hannibal. MO this weekend on a Family Retreat Weekend with an organization called HIS KIDS. It is an organization that serves children with cancer and their families.

More later, but for now some fun pictures!

Out Done

2006-09-28T08:43:00.000-05:00

I knew it would happen, but I didn't expetct it so soon! I have been out done on the Xander photos!

Check out what Tom did all night!

Xander' First Day

Happy Birthday Xander!

2006-09-27T21:29:00.000-05:00

Today we welcomed another precious child into our world. Xander was born at 10 am. He weighs 7 lbs 11 oz, the same as his mama and his big sister! He is 20 inches long. He is perfect!

Please pray for quick recovery for Brandi after her C-section today and a good night's rest for all.

Here are the first pictures I have. More to come soon!

Brighton talking with the nurse about when Xander would be getting his first bath. She was very excited to talk to the nurse about her baby brother. She is so grown up!

Through the glass.

Sleeping away while being passed around to his family in waiting!

Look at this hair, not as much as Brighton had, but its very dark.

Little feet!

More sleeping!

Look, that's me and Xander!

Ana is a BIG sister! She just kept saying "baby, baby, baby" she also said " I love baby!" I wasn't around for Brighton's first look at Xander, but I am sure she looked just as proud! I will post some of those when I get them.

Stretching out after nine months of confined space.

More Zoo Pictures

2006-09-27T20:25:00.000-05:00

Another one of my favorites! The penguins!

Kiana and me on the Zoo Train

Football Update

2006-09-27T19:52:00.000-05:00

For a girl that basically knows nothing about football, I think I am doing pretty good. I am in first place in our league and have won all three of my games in our fantasy league.

I do know that now I have one player out from an injury (Trent Green) and one out on a mental health day (Terrell Owens).

Hopefully that won't affect my points in week 4.

Busy Busy

2006-09-27T19:49:00.000-05:00

Even though it is probably hard to tell by my posts here on my blog, I really want to blog, I have been busy and after being on the computer at work the last thing I want to do when I get home is be on the computer more.

I have had a full couple of weeks and the "busy" season has just begun.

Here are some pictures from my recent trip to the St Louis Zoo. I went with my mom, Kiana and Brighton. We had a great day, the weather was AWESOME and the girls loved it! I am now officially a Zoo Friend, so you will probably be hearing a lot about the zoo this fall.

Kane feeding the ducks and geese. We later found out that this was not allowed at the Zoo.

Kiana and Brighton on a seal sculpture at the Zoo entrance. Kiana just will not smile at a camera for me! I am sure that the bright son didn't help!

Birghton at the hippo exhibit! This happens to be one of my favorite places in the zoo. I love being able to get so close to them and watching them up close!

This polar bear was great. He was swimming around and playing for quite a while.
He reminded me of Jackson at the dog swim at out local pool.

Fantasy Football

2006-09-07T19:28:00.000-05:00

I cannot believe this, but I have been talked into a Fanatasy Football League.

Right now I am sitting and waiting as we draft our teams. I have heard that this can become addictive. I am starting to see how this may take up some of my free time and sleep time.

Iknow that it is time to start keeping up my blog again... I have heard it from about 10 people. So maybe I will start updating more frequently!

I am taking Kiana and Brighton to the St Louis Zoo tomorrow. I will update with pictures tomorrow night.

Amazing!

2006-08-30T21:30:00.000-05:00

This is a long story! My best friend is pregnant and her baby is due in September. She is having a scheduled C-section, which is a good thing for her, but kind of sad for me because I thought she was my last hope to see a baby being born. (in real life, not on TV). Well one day, I was talking about it with a group of people from church and one of them was also pregnant. She said that this was her third baby and she was OK if I wanted to come and watch her baby's birth. YEAH! So for the past few weeks we have all been waiting, day after day, for Jacob Ellis to make his way into our world.

On Monday morning at 5 am I made my way to the hospital and starting around 10am I got to see the most amazing thing I have EVER seen! Jacob was born around 10:10am. I have thought about this over and over since Monday and it is still amazing to me. It was such a cool experience and a reminder that God has perfectly designed our bodies. God used Jacob's birth to remind me of His perfection and His works.

Thank you James and Jennifer for allowing me to witness the birth of your beautiful little boy!
It was a wonderful gift!

Jacob Ellis
August 28, 2006
10:10am
Weighing in at an incredible 9 pounds and 9 ounces!
He looks tiny in the first two pictures,
but check out how big he is compared to his momma!

Bracelets and Reptiles

2006-08-01T18:52:00.000-05:00

Making bracelets with the left over supplies from the Witness bracelets. Make sure that you not the huge pile of trash right behind the children. By the way, this is Wendy. She did an excellent job with the children while we were in Mexico. God worked through her in mighty ways this last week.

This reptile was brought to me by a group of boys after I took a short little nap on a church pew. I as so tired! I was still a little groggy from my nap and they brought and held him right in my face. It was awesome! They giggled and carried on for a long time about this little guy. He was very small. The bottle of red liquid is a 20 ounce bottle of water (That is refilled with Gatorade!) and the little hand is that of a 4 or 5 year old. Later in the day I captured a larger one and carried it around for quite a while. Now as to the name of this animal, its a mystery. Some say cameliion, some say horny lizard, but the most popular answer was a horny toad. Any ideas? Post a comment!

Los Ninos

2006-07-30T18:40:00.000-05:00

This is just the beginning of my photos. All of the ones here are the one I took.
There will be more soon.

I had so much fun with the Children of El Mezquital. I really cannot express it in words, but it was wonderful. This pictures don't do justice to the beauty and uniqueness. I had 2 favorites, both boys. One was 9 and his name was Daniel. The little one, Rode, was 2.

Enjoy!

The little one in the picture is Rode. He is so cute and when I told him that I had a Grande Perro at my house, he said that he would come home with me. Too bad he has a wonderful mama in Mexico, otherwise he would be here! The day I fell in love with him, I was making balloon animals and he kept begging for "un globo, un globo." He was so darling!

This is the play ground that the youth group raised money for and then built in the back yard of the church. The children had SO much fun on it. It was hard to keep them off of it as the construction was being finalized.

Centro Familiar Cristiano

2006-07-23T18:34:00.000-05:00

While in Mexico we were in a city called Higuerillas, near El Mezquital.
(Don't let this link fool you, we were not near anything that looked remotely as beautiful as this website.)

The church where we worked was most devastated by hurricane Emily last year while we were in Matamorosin July 2005. During this hurricane and the aftermath that followed, God led our group to a man named Felix who lived near Higuerillas. He led us to a devastated community and to Pastor Victor. That was the beginning of what God had for our group!

This blue building in the backgroud is the old church building in July of 2005, days after Emily came. The church had a lot of water damage and was filled with inches on sand. Our group was able to serve God last year with clean up and prayer with Pastor Victor and Adela.This is the new church building that was stared when we arrived. This was day one!

Greetings

2006-07-22T18:32:00.000-05:00

This is Grace, Adela, and Heather in the hotel lobby. Grace was one of our wonderful translators. She spent many years in the missionary field in Guatemala. She is now moving to O'Fallon!

Adela is the wife of Pastor Victor, the pastor at Centro Familiar Cristiano, the church where we were all week.

Heather is from 2Rivers Church She is an awesome lady and a hard worker!

Saturday Afternoon July 22, 2006

2006-07-22T18:28:00.000-05:00

The following pictures were taken during our trip to the Market in downtown Matamoros. I love walking through this place, you can get a real taste of the culture in the city while being with the people.

Vacation Photos

2006-07-11T00:34:00.000-05:00

Click on this picture to see the rest of the "not stuck in traffic" photos.

In case anyone is keeping track, we traveled 5 miles or less in 2.5 hours at 12:30am on the way to MI. IDOT (Illinois department of transportation) really needs to consult a different Civil Engineering Firm next time!

Update on Vacation

2006-06-27T23:52:00.000-05:00

I think I am ready now. I have most of my things packed.. minus a few things in the dryer and a few last minute add in items; hair dryer, shoes, camera, MP3 player, ect.

Jackson has figured out that I am packing and he is nervous. He will settle down soon, especially because I don't leave until Thursday afternoon. Poor thing, that is all I miss when I am away from home, cuddling with my puppy (who is not really a puppy!)

I am looking forward to being away from here. I want to be able to go out and not run into people at the store and feel like I need to talk until all of the small talk is done. I am looking forward to spending time with God and getting deep in the Word to find somethings I need. I cannot wait to float down the "River Bob" and play at the beach with Brighton. I am looking forward to awesome conversations with good friends. I am looking forward to fun, relaxation, and afternoon naps. I am looking forward to sitting and doing nothing!

You shouldn't be reading this here,

2006-06-26T22:38:00.000-05:00

but you are.

I will not go into many details now (or maybe ever here on the blog), but I feel like life is a mess. Not mine, but ours. I cannot sleep, all I can do is think and pray. I wish I could turn my brain off, or at least the though process center of my brain.

Maybe he was right, if I could just go to sleep for a while and wake up, it would all be a dream and all would be fine.

I cannot help but think that this should be happening to another church somewhere else, far, far away. Why would I wish such confusion, fear, anger, hurt, and sadness on other Believers? Doesn't seem very nice, but I guess we think about these kinds of things when we just wish it wasn't us.

It would be nice if it was someone else far, far away... but we all know that it is not. It is us. And we must deal with this. We must move on. We must move forward.

God has ordained this for us now, He has promised to complete the good work in us. Now is the time.

Battle Plan

2006-06-26T22:37:00.000-05:00

These past 30 or so hours have been a reality check.

In order to fight the world and the things coming at me left and right I need to be reading God's Word DAILY, not every few days and not when its convieniet. I also need to be memorizing Scripture so that I can fall on the Promises of God when my world is shaken.

If you know me and you see my, I am begging you, PLEASE ask me how this is going!

Thank you!

Vacation...

2006-06-26T21:59:00.000-05:00

SHHHH.... can you hear that? Its VACATION calling my name!

I wish I could go today. I am not even close to having my things ready, but I am!

My Stylish New Knee

2006-06-21T23:35:00.000-05:00

I saw the orthopedic doctor today. He drained some yucky fluid off of my knee and gave me a cortisone shot. Hopefully, this will take care of the pain. Most of it is gone already! YEAH! I get to wear this very comfortable and highly fashionable knee brace for a while. Don't you wish you had one?

The doctor thinks that I have some cartledge damage and if it is not better in 2 weeks I will have a MRI and explore more treatment options. Until then I get to have a follow-up echo cardigram and an ultra sound. The heart test is being done just to check on the left ventricle of my heart because of a chemotherapy drug I had called, Adramycin. My ultrasound is for a cyst, to rule out anything else. I feel like I am falling apart, but in the long run none of these things are extremely serious!

Today I am thankful for good medical insurance and good health care!
By the way, the knee brace is hot, uncomfortable, and completely tacky!

Busted Knee

2006-06-19T11:42:00.000-05:00

I hurt me knee. I had a blog post written about it and now it is gone, lost in cyber space I suppose.

I went to the doctor and she believes that I have done a few things to my knee. I either have a bad strain or a tear to the LCL in my right knee. I may also have some damage to the lateral meniscus. As you can imagine this is both painful, uncomfortable, and inconvenient.

I am on crutches and trying to rest it as much as possible until I see the ortho doctor, hopefully very soon. I desire to be patient and rest in know that God is in control, but I am ready to get a complete diagnosis and treatment plan set up. I am discouraged by my inability to do things on my own, and my mom is not helping much. It is hard to realize that even simple tasks are impossible right now!

I am worried about what the next few weeks may hold, I have a vacation schedule for the end of next week through July 10th, so I am hoping that I will get to enjoy that time away. I am also concerned that I might miss out on the mission trip to Mexico.

Please pray that I will have a miraculous healing and that I can be pain-free soon. I cannot imagine many more days like today. It is hard to function in the "real world" while in crutches and having this constant pain in my knee. God is bigger than this injury and I know He has planned this for a reason, I just want to be obedient through this and rest in HIM. Please pray that I will do so!

Here is a fun icture from last year in Mexcio!
I'm praying that I will get to do this again this year.

A Lion in the House

2006-06-12T11:19:00.000-05:00

I am writing to tell you about something that is going to happen in a little more than a week! Independent Lens and PBS have made a documentary type film about Childhood Cancer. It is called "A Lion in the House."

I have not seen this film yet, but as a childhood cancer survivor, I am excited I believe that this film will help education our community about the challenges facing children with cancer and their families. I also believe that this will be a lot of encouragement and hope to families currently in treatment, let this serve as a reminder to them that they are not alone. I can hardly wait for the first air date!

"A Lion in the House" will begin on June 21 and 22 on PBS. For those of you here in the St Louis area, I have double checked with the PBS schedule and it will be at 9pm on both nights.

I hope you all can join in and watch as the world of childhood cancer unfold before us through the work of some extraordinary film producers. After all 1 in about 300 children will be diagnosed with cancer before their 20th birthday . For more info about childhood cancer visit Cure Search.

Saturday!

2006-06-03T18:43:00.000-05:00

Tommy came in to St Louis today while Dad and Kathy went to Busch Stadium. I guess the Cardinals LOST.

Oh well...

We had a great day!

I mean really... What trip to the pool is a bad day, even if you do leave with a skinned toes and Doritos all over the place!

Its a girl!

2006-06-01T22:28:00.000-05:00

The Brown family heard from the court and it looks like the judge has held his original decision and that the consent to adopt is legal. This means Kiana stays with the Browns!

Updating on the day...

2006-05-22T20:35:00.000-05:00

Court went well for Tom and Brandi. Seems like the lawyers and Tom and Brandi are confident that the judge will rule in their favor. At this point, the judge will make the decision in his chambers, not in the court room. I am excited to see God moving in this situation.

I took Brighton to The Plaid Monkey, for a manicure. It was a special treat for Brighton, and for me. It was a good distraction and out that she loved getting a massage on her hands. She is growing up so FAST.

Tonight I am hanging out with two other little girls from church, Jessie and Allie. They are 6 and 2 and have tons of energy. We played outside tonight and enjoyed the nice spring evening. I took some fun pictures and a hilarious video. Hopefully I will get them up soon.

God's Favor

2006-05-22T10:36:00.000-05:00

I am praying today, A LOT. I know that seems strange that I would post that I am praying because this is something I do daily.

Today is different... I am praying for Brandi and Tom today. Today is hopefully the last day that the will go to court to determine the future of the little one. There are so many lies and so much manipulation that is involved with this situation, that my prayers have mostly been for the judge. That he will be smart, courageous, and wise in his decisions for a toddler. That past cases and decisions will not effect his decision that he needs to make to day. I am praying that God will speak to this man and that he will be able to see where she needs to grow up. I know that the decking made there (at court) will effect many people and I pray for everyone, for each of us that love this child, to be at peace with the decisions today. I am praying that Brandi will be wearing her armor of God today. Especially the shield! (Eph 6:16 In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one). There is so much to pray and so few words to express it all.

I am also praying for a family I do not know today. The daughter, Christi, has a serious case of cancer and has been ill for a long time. She is starting an in tense treatment plan today in hopes of saving her young life, yet again. This family trusts God and is always relying on prayers. Please pray today, and all week. I know that the mother has to be hundreds of miles away from her child this week as she starts large doses of chemo. Pray for the mom to have no anxiety and to trust in God's promises.

It is a serious thing to feel God moving so much and calling me to pray, but it is such a humbling experience, as well as a blessing. Praying for God's Favor!

Thinking about a real post...

2006-05-15T16:39:00.000-05:00

But until then, you should really take 5 minutes out of your day and watch this!

Jeanne, Alicia, Carol

2006-05-03T23:36:00.000-05:00

This is me and 2 of my nurses from when I was on chemotherapy. I started 12 years ago in March. WOW! These 2 ladies were wonderful to me during my treatments.

Alicia's Block

2006-04-29T11:17:00.001-05:00

Brandi's Block

2006-04-29T11:17:00.000-05:00

Cancer Survivor Quilt

2006-04-29T11:16:00.000-05:00

Live Eagle Cam

2006-04-28T07:36:00.000-05:00

Check this out! It is a live camera feed into a Bald Eagle's nest in British Columbia. The eagles have 2 eggs in their nest scheduled to hatch any day now!

David's Tree

2006-04-27T23:38:00.000-05:00

I got a new camera! This is one of the first pictures I have taken just playing around with the different settings.

This is "David's Tree," its a Lilac tree and it is just about at teh end of the blooming season. This tree is located right outside of my bedroom window!

It was such a beatiful sight today!

4-27-06

2006-04-27T23:24:00.000-05:00

4-27-06, originally uploaded by alicia2519.

This is also another favorite picture with my new toy.

A fast recap

2006-03-28T23:46:00.000-06:00

The past many weeks have been a crazy whirlwind.

These are the things I have done or experienced since I posted a real post... Ok lets go with things since Christmas. I will try at least.

1. I survived (along with my mom) our first holiday season without David.

2. Turned 27, AHHHHH.

3. My best friends got a baby, Kiana, back into their home for adoption!
4. Found out that Brandi and Tom are not only adopting, but they are having a baby too! Baby is due in October!

5. I have had million viruses in my body. I have been sick at least 3 times since Christmas, currently fighting ANOTHER cold!

6. Made it through Dec-March. This was the time of year David was so sick last year. We spent almost all of January in the hospital last year. It was difficult to make it through these few months.

7. Experienced a bad depression that has lasted the better part of the winter. I am starting to feel good most days now!

8. I am currently teaching the 3-5 year olds at church. This is both fun and extremely tiring. I love seeing them "get it" and learn about how BIG our GOD is. This week was great- I asked why God healed the Israelites after they were being punished for the disobedience of Moses and one of them shouted EXACTLY what I was looking for, "Because God is loving and forgiving." YEAH EVAN! Moments like that make me see how important of a calling form God this is.

9. I just started working full time at my job that I have had for a year. Its great! I love working there and switching to full time has not been a huge change in hours. The benefits are amazing!

10. We (my mom and I) are currently having some financial issues that are not good. We are trying to decided if we need to move or stay here. Right now as of this post, looks like all votes are in for staying here. I hope we don't have to move, it would save a lot of work and even more money.

11. My baby brother, Tommy, turned 6 this year. He came and stayed the weekend with me and we had a blast. We went swimming at my work, played with Jackson, and went to church. I cannot wait until he comes again soon!

12. Brighton also turned six. She had a puppy party and it was so cute and VERY creative.

13. I have been struggling with reading the Word for many months. I have been trying to read something every few days, I am getting better now. I miss good time in the Word. I am also going to get back to memorizing our verses each week. Hiding God's word is so important to me, I am not sure what happened.

14. The stress level in our home is at the absolute max that it has been in a LONG time. I just pray that this season passes quickly.

15. I played in the snow with my dog!

16. My dad is in the hospital today, he is having heart problems, a heart attack. He is having a cardiac cath in the morning. I will be traveling to the University in Columbia in the morning.

16. I wrote my first real blog post in a LONG LONG time.

Good night!s

Getting back to the true meaning of this blog...

2006-02-23T23:01:00.000-06:00

Soon.... Very soon I will be taking the time to get back to writing and reflecting on my life and happenings again. Its been interesting to go back and read entries here and there and I am sad that I have let time go by without posting.

My goal is tomorrow afternoon... Until then I bring you another reason to blog. Pure humor.

This is Drew, she is about 19 months old and VERY busy. She has a little brother that is about 5 months old, so mama is a busy lady.

And this is Rush, still sweet and innocent!

Speaking of Cancer...

2006-02-16T22:28:00.000-06:00

I have found the Caring Bridge Webpage of a little boy that has stolen my heart...

Even though I don't know Oliver, my heart goes out to him and his family. Take a few minutes to learn about this precious child and his battle with cancer!

Praying for you Oliver.

Don't Waste It...

2006-02-16T22:04:00.000-06:00

I got a great article recently from Desiring God ministries and thought that I would share it.

If you have been reading here long, you know that I had cancer when I was 15 years old. I have been cancer free now for 11 plus years. Praise God! Cancer actually saved my life. To make a long story short, through the 9 months of chemo and the people I met through this time, I was able to see God in a way that would lead me to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.

I write this on the eve of prostate surgery. I believe in God’s power to heal—by miracle and by medicine. I believe it is right and good to pray for both kinds of healing. Cancer is not wasted when it is healed by God. He gets the glory and that is why cancer exists. So not to pray for healing may waste your cancer. But healing is not God’s plan for everyone. And there are many other ways to waste your cancer. I am praying for myself and for you that we will not waste this pain.

1. You will waste your cancer if you do not believe it is designed for you by God.

2. You will waste your cancer if you believe it is a curse and not a gift.

3. You will waste your cancer if you seek comfort from your odds rather than from God.

4. You will waste your cancer if you refuse to think about death.

5. You will waste your cancer if you think that “beating” cancer means staying alive rather than cherishing Christ.

6. You will waste your cancer if you spend too much time reading about cancer and not enough time reading about God.

7. You will waste your cancer if you let it drive you into solitude instead of deepen your relationships with manifest affection.

8. You will waste your cancer if you grieve as those who have no hope.

9. You will waste your cancer if you treat sin as casually as before.

10. You will waste your cancer if you fail to use it as a means of witness to the truth and glory of Christ.

I encourage you to take the time to read Don't Waste Your Cancer I read through this a few times and started to see how other hardships fit right in to these sentences instead of the word cancer. Now the challenge from God is this... Live this every day, in all things. I also think that in order for me to think these things about cancer, I must live them out now, in my day to day struggles and trails. God is sovereign and I can live this way everyday.

I know that this will be hard, but with God I know that I have all of the help I need. "My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus"(Philippians 4:19).

2006-01-29T16:45:00.000-06:00

Get your position here

Jax

2006-01-20T16:06:00.000-06:00

I love my dog!

Quality time with my girl

2006-01-09T21:37:00.000-06:00

I got to spend sometime with Brighton tonight after Kiana went to sleep. I love her and the time I spent her. This is what we created, its her mommy on the beach.

My Birthday

2006-01-09T20:33:00.000-06:00

This is my birthday post! Last year I spent my birthday in the hospital with David. Not so much fun. This year was much better. I had to get some bloodwork today, that was a bummer! Oh well.

So really why I am posting... I want to tell you what I got for my birthday...

I got to spend some time with my friends, which was awesome! But speaking of my friends-

KIANA IS BACK!

I am so happy for the Browns... I know this is something that they have wanted since this precious child came into our lives in October. I could not have asked for anything greater on my birthday.

Merry Christmas, just a bit late

2006-01-01T23:59:00.000-06:00

I love this picture. Maybe I can use it for Christmas cards next year!

This is Jackson on our deck. He loves the attention that comes when the camera comes out, but this bow was a little too much! He kept shaking trying to get it off! Not to mention the frustration that must come when I kept saying "treat" and then don't give him one. All for the ears...

Another

2006-01-01T22:30:00.000-06:00

I really like this one too! Jackson was a lot more cooperatve here. (No big red bow on him!)

Are you serious?

2005-12-16T19:43:00.000-06:00

I remember this day very well. We are at Union Station in St Louis with my dad. He took Matt and me Christmas shopping and we had thi spicture made with Santa. I am sure that my hair still has this kind of potential...

Not So Scary

2005-12-12T16:25:00.000-06:00

Santa got less scary as I got older.

Scary in 79?

2005-12-09T07:40:00.000-06:00

I guess Santa was a scray in 1979.

2005-12-06T22:06:00.000-06:00

Kirk Cameron

2005-12-01T21:28:00.000-06:00

Since this summer, some friends of mine have been making fun of me for "Being in love with Kirk Cameron."

Well I guess this proves them right!

Your 80s Heartthrob Is

Kirk Cameron

Who's Your 80's Heartthrob?

Going out of town...

2005-11-03T10:17:00.001-06:00

I am heading out of town this morning to go to Niki and Josh's wedding. Looking forward to all of the excitement that a wedding brings! I am NOT looking forward to spending some 12 plus hours in the car today with Brighton and Kiana. On our last trip to Nashville a few weekends back, Brighton started asking "How much longer about 15 minutes into the drive!" Kiana spent most of this trip asleep, there and home. What a cool baby she is! Hopefully with one extra adult along this time to tag team the kids time will fly!

Please be praying for a safe and FUN trip.

A Letter

2005-11-03T09:23:00.000-06:00

To the family of Kyle Lake, David Crowder and Band, and Christ's Church of UBC,

I have been following the story of Kyle Lake and UBC, Waco since Sunday morning. I am still so saddened by his sudden and tragic death, although it compares not to what you must be feeling. Kyle must have been an extraordinary man of God! What a legacy he has left in his footsteps. It seems that Kyle was a wonderful communicator of God's Word and a mentor with an eternal purpose. In his death Sunday morning he was only doing what his heart had such great passion for, seeing the lost come to Jesus. Trying to fit his sudden death and the goodness of God together is a hard task, but one that must be done. I am praying that as God heals your sadness that you will see and KNOW that God is good, trustworthy, and He never changes.

He is good.

Exodus 33:19 And he said, "I will make all my goodness pass before you and will proclaim before you my name 'The LORD.' And I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show mercy on whom I will show mercy.

He is trustworthy.

Isaiah 26:4 Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock

He never changes.

James 1:17 says "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change."

God will remain even when all else in gone.

Psalm 102:26-27 They will perish, but You will remain; they will all wear out like a garment. You will change them like a robe, and they will pass away, but You are the same, and Your years have no end.

He is our rock that we must stand on in times like these.

2 Samuel 22:32 For who is God, but the LORD? And who is a rock, except our God?

I was moved to look for some verse and post here today by what I found on David Crowder's blog. It is always hard to read about another person's grief, and I pray that you will draw near to our God during this time.

Here is the quote from David Crowder:
sunday morning oct 30th 2005, kyle lake, my friend and pastor, died of electrocution while performing a baptism. many of you have already heard, through the media coverage, or our website, or the churches website, or friends, or you are a part of our church family at ubc and were even there sunday, and have sent emails and comments and cards and flowers for condolence and prayer and i can not express how meaningful these have been. thank you. kyle has been my friend for a really long time, actually if i were forced to use a descriptor before "friend" when referring to him it would be "best". i have known no other human as beautiful as him. he was simultaneously my deepest critic and most unabashed admirer. i have never wept like i have wept these past 3 days. i am sad and pissed and grateful. mostly grateful. grateful for every second kyle was given and so thankful for the way he used his time with us. monday i had to write his obituary. it was so hard. i loved him so much and it was so hard to write something so sterile and feel such finality. yesterday we had his funeral. the first two days were spent in disbelief. we were in orlando the morning it happened. i was so angry that we weren't there. i'm less so now. there has been no one more influential in my approach to god. he is in every one of our songs.

he leaves behind his wife jenn, their 5-year-old daughter avery, and their 3-year-old twin boys, jude and sutton

For God's Glory,
Alicia Green
alicia2519@gmail.com

Sad News from University Baptist in Waco, TX

2005-10-31T08:01:00.000-06:00

I found this new this morning while searching the David Crowder Band Web site.

University Baptist Church, Waco Texas

After a little searching I found more information.

From the UBC site "We are confident that Kyle is in heaven today because of his trust in Jesus Christ as his Savior."

“And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life. I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. “ -1 John 5:11-13

What in the....?

2005-10-30T20:40:00.000-06:00

It looks like I haven't updated my blog for 23 days? How does this happen?

I am going to start on a new blog design here soon, maybe tomorrow, so I will be updated more often.

Life seems busy, but I am not sure that it really is. What is busy? Aren't we all "busy?" Oh well.... more later.

By the way.... I LOVE DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME!

Using our tax dollars for good?

2005-10-07T22:29:00.000-05:00

So... are we afraid that someone will steal the trash?

Parade

2005-10-07T20:55:00.000-05:00

So after several episodes of Saturday Morning cartoons and trying to
fall back to sleep for just a few minutes, we finally got up. Brighton
and I had to hurry because we were going to the local highschool's
homecoming parade.

I learned a few things this morning while trying to get out of the house
in a hurry to make it by 9am to the local parade viewing site. Some of
them are VERY surprising...

1. One dog is ALWAYS better than two when you are in a hurry.
2. Socks that match are a luxury.
3. 2 drinks of milk and half of a banana counts as a full meal.
4. Little girls with long hair should sleep with it in a pony tail.
5. Always have Tangle Spray on hand for your favorite 5 year olds hair (and your sanity!)
6. Brighton doesn't like Capitan Crunch (HUH!? I though all kids liked Capitan Crunch) She would rather have Crunch Berries!
7. Who cares if you look like you just got out of bed!
8. You will sing those dumb cartoon songs all day.

This is Brighton, Josh and Cooper. Hey Josh! Your sunglasses are on upside down!

We met Holly, Josh, and Cooper at the parade. It was great fun. All of
the floats were fun and the kids (and Alicia and Holly) gathered up
lots of candy.

The parade ended, as all good things do, and we headed to Home Depot
for Kids Workshop day. It was a busy morning, they also had Kids Safety
Day!

Brighton and I had a great time. I love spending time with her. She is
growing up and changing so fast . It seems like she is learning so much
each day. She is almost reading! She can count to 100 and is starting
to do simple math! But above all she is learning academically, her love
for Jesus is awesome. She is learning so much about God and His Word.
Her heart is tuned into the things of God, His Love, His Grace, and His
Sovereignty. The heart of his child is a good example for adults like
me! I am praying that as she grows up, her heart will stay so tender to
God's work!

Brighton and Alicia Sleepover

2005-10-07T20:36:00.000-05:00

On Friday September 30-Saturday October 1, Brighton had a sleepover at
my house! It was awesome. Not something I would want to do every
Friday, but it was a lot of fun.

On Friday night we went to The Painted Zebra, a cool place to go and
paint ceramics. After you paint a piece, they glaze and fire it and
then you go back in a few days and pick it up! Its magic, Ok, not
really but it is pretty neat!

After we painted and hung out at the PZ for several hours, we were both
ready for bed, at 9pm! So we headed to my house and straight to bed.
Brighton had no problem falling alseep or staying asleep, but I did.
Pixie (Brighton's dog) had some trouble sleeping and kept waking me up.
Her tags were jingling and she was wondering around my bedroom. I
finally got out of bed, let her out to potty, and then sent her in the
puppy kennel for the rest of the night. That seemed to work.

Morning came to soon and a full morning started at sunrise.

Chad and Rush

2005-10-07T20:23:00.000-05:00

The proud daddy with his baby boy! Looks like Drew was wondering around
in the background. Drew is adjusting well to her new baby brother. The
first thing she wants when she wakes up in the morning or after a nap
it Rush. We will see how long that lasts!

Welcome Rush Erikson

2005-10-07T20:21:00.001-05:00

Welcome Rush Erickson to the world. He was born on September 25th. My
step-sister, Jenn, and Baby Rush are doing great. Word on the street
says that he is a good baby, hardly cries, and looks a liitle more like
his mommy than the first baby.

Wisdom...another name for intelligent design

2005-09-21T10:56:00.000-05:00

I read an article by Dr. John Piper today, "Was Katrina Intelligent Design?"

It is great. Here is one of my favorite parts of this essay.

But God commits no crimes when he brings famine, flood, and pestilence on the earth. “Does disaster come to a city, unless the Lord has done it?” (Amos 3:6). The answer of the prophet is no. God’s own testimony is the same: “I form light and create darkness, I make well-being and create calamity, I am the Lord, who does all these things” (Isaiah 45:7). And if we ask, is there intelligent design in it all, the Bible answers: “You meant evil . . . but God meant it [designed it] for good” (Genesis 50:20).

This will always be ludicrous to those who put the life of man above the glory of God. Until our hearts are broken, not just for the life-destroying misery of human pain, but for the God-insulting rebellion of human sin, we will not see intelligent design in the way God mingles mercy and judgment in this world. But for those who bow before God’s sovereign grace and say, “From him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever,” they are able to affirm, “Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!” (Romans 11:36, 33). And wisdom is another name for intelligent design.

2005-09-18T21:19:00.000-05:00

Another Hurricane is on it's way. As you can see, it seems like this one is headed for Northern Mexico and Southern Texas. I am saddened by the idea that it may make land fall in a city that I have fallen in love with, Matamoros Mexico. God is good. God has been good through Hurricane Katrina and God will still be good through this next storm!

My Only Hope

2005-09-18T20:36:00.000-05:00

I love our deck. I love the view. I love watching the birds play along the back tree line. I love listen to the sound of bugs and birds in the tress that surround our house. I love the breeze that comes over the open field and to our yard. I love watching the baby cows play in the field and the momma cows move VERY slowly. I love catching a glimpse of a family of deer as the sneak around the family of cows in the field. I love sitting out here and just being still. I love that my loyal bird dog just lays here beside me because he wants to be close to me. I love sitting out here and just being still. It has been a good afternoon. The weather is perfect.

Being still is not something I do well. I don't think many of us can say that being still is easy to do. Today was one of those far and few between moments when I was still. I thought about what has been going on in my life in this past year and the changes that God has made in my life and in my heart. I feel like I have had all kinds of changes in my life from a new house to the death of my brother, David. There have been good changes, bad changes, easy changes and hard changes.

In all of this I recognize that God is sovereign and His plan for my life is perfect. Jesus is it, nothing else can be trusted.

Psalm 20:7 Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.

2005-08-26T20:40:00.000-05:00

After a week of feeling sick, and then a little better and the really sick again, I finally went to the doctor today. This is my second trip to the doctor or urgent care in one month for my asthma. I have double pnemonia and have been started on some serious antibodtics and steriods again. I am resting and drinking a TON of water, hopefully I will be feeling better soon.

Its my blog...

2005-08-22T23:40:00.000-05:00

... so I can whine. I don't feel gooooooood. My throat hurts and my nose is getting raw from blowing it so much. I can't sleep and its all I want to do. Please pray for healing.

2005-08-21T21:11:00.000-05:00

I will never get tired of looking at my pictures from Mexcio. I love them, they take me back to the place that I love so dearly... I cannot wait to go back!

This is a picture of me handing out one of my fisrt Gospel Packs.

Sick Again...

2005-08-20T20:17:00.000-05:00

Well, it seems that just when I was getting over my current flare up of asthma, I have come down with a head cold. You know the drill you have seen the commercial... "Stuffy head, sore throat, couching, aching, fever." This is not why I am writting...

I have had a busy week, and it has been a good week. I have been working about 10-11 hour days. I now work the opening shift at work, which means I am up at 5:30ish AM! After I work there for 7 hours, I come home long enough to change clothes, love on Jackson, and have a quick snack before I head out to my next adventure. I am helping out a family with 3 children and a grandmother who had a stroke in March. It makes for a long day, but it has been a fun adventure. I have had fun everyday and everyday is a new day with its own challenges and lessons. I am even getting to practice and learn more Spanish, the grandparents speak Spanish, so I am forced to pick up a little!

By the time I help with the kids and visit with Amalia, I am very tired and ready to come home and head to bed. I have a new bed time, I must be ASLEEP by 9:45, which so far has not been a problem. I haven't had much time to spend with my friends or hang out like I want to, it has been an adjustment. God is using that time in other ways though, my time with Amalia and her family is molding and shaping me in ways that I never thought possible. I am being blessed by them with each visit. Honestly, as I sit hear very close to my EARLY bedtime, completely exhausted, I can say that I wouldn't trade me time with these people for more sleep. I had planned to be the one doing the ministering, but again I find myself being ministered to. Isn't God good?

Just a thought

2005-08-17T08:25:00.000-05:00

“He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.” ~Anonymous

Did you see that? ANYONE! Thank you God that with you I can stand before anyone.